Turk: So, how was your date with Heather?
J.D.: It was touch and go, in the end.
[flashback to J.D. and Heather talking by his car:]
J.D.: I had a really good time, Heather.
Heather: Thanks, me too. [offers handshake]
J.D.: [v.o.] But I knew you needed me, so I went for it... in Italian style.
J.D.: That's not what you want. [moves hand away, Heather kisses him]
J.D.: [v.o.] And just when I couldn't get any better
Chad: J.D.?
J.D.: Oh, my God! Chad Miller, Danny Murphy, Jim Staeger. The three football players that used to beat me up in high school.
Chad: Looks like we're wrong about you, man.
J.D.: What are you guys up to now?
Chad: We're all gay together.
J.D.: Oh.
Chad: You remember Christine Fisher?
J.D.: Of course! You turned me down for a homecoming and prom, even though I didn't ask it either one.
Christine: Well, I'd love to make it up to you and have sex with both of you, if that's all right with you, Heather.
Heather: As long as you make it all about J.D.
J.D.: Sure. Come on in!
Chad: Enough of this, let's go bang!
[present:]
J.D.: And that's why Heather will never look attractive to you again.
Turk: Come on, buddy.
J.D.: Where did I lose you?
Turk: How did Christine know Heather's name?
J.D.: Damn! You're good.