Turk: All right, look, I need you to do me a solid. Ask Heather out on a date.
J.D.: Don't worry, buddy. You know how I roll. I start with a couple off-the-cuff jokes just like that one. Next step, I need you to find out if she's allergic to anything. That way I'll say, "I'm allergic to the same thing." Women love that, "Gluten, me too! We can eat together." Thirdly, if I lose a patient, I'll be able to cry like I've just watched Extreme Home Makeover. If everything goes according to plan I should be out with her on a casual, not a real date, just two friends having a beer, talking about their lives thing, in about seven to nine weeks.
Turk: I need you to ask her on a date right now. I never told you this before, but anytime you hook up with a chick, she automatically becomes hideous to me.
J.D.: Really?
Elliot: Hey, guys.
[fantasy: Elliot has a hairy chest and a bearded man face:]
Elliot: Have you seen Carla?
Turk: Yes, she just went outside.
Elliot: Thanks. I'm having a horrible freaking day.
Turk: I'd say. You don't see that?