Dr. Cox: Hey, where's your brother?
Dan: J.D.! [silence] He's not here.
Dr. Cox: Look, Dan-
Dan: It's Captain Bubblebeard. Avast, matey! Shut yer scupper and bare yer steel, we should be seeing la- [Dr. Cox dunks Dan in the water]
Dr. Cox: Now you're Dan again. Let's break down the kid's support system, shall we? He's got me, an emotionally-crippled narcissist and, he's got you, an emotionally-crippled narcissist who's soaking in a tub of what by now has to be mostly your own urine.
Dan: I believe the ratio has shifted that way, yes.
Dr. Cox: And I have got to believe that the two of us, together, together, Dan we can make it at least half-way to one legitimate adult.
Dan: You're right, Coxy. Dammit, Coxsmith! Crybaby time is over! The kid needs us, and he needs us now, right? Towel. Thank you. Let's rock and roll! I may have lost some muscle mass in my legs.
Dr. Cox: Fantastic.