Dr. Kelso: You know, I don't want to sound insensitive, but why don't these people have any money?
Elliot: I don't know, sir, they probably waste it all on food. Dr. Kelso, I need you to precept a patient. Nineteen-year-old complaining of abdominal pain, turns out she's at least eight months pregnant. I'm just going to let one of the family practice people handle it.
Dr. Kelso: Well, that sounds like a wonderful idea, sweetheart, except I heard your smart-aleck remark a second ago, so why don't you just keep your little pregnant girl? It'll be good practice for you since you'll probably end up in a female specialty anyway.
Elliot: What do you mean by that? I'm internal medicine.
Dr. Kelso: Well, of course you are. But numbers don't lie and most women end up in OB-GYN, family practice or pediatrics. It's like a riptide, sweetheart, pulling and pulling, and you can swim against the current all you want. But when Mr. Stork comes a-calling, you're not going to be thinking, "I'm internal medicine." It's gonna be, "Oh! Look at the baby!"
Elliot: Sir, I have to say, I'm offended.
Dr. Kelso: Oh, no. Now I have to go buy flowers to make it right.