J.D.: Dr. Kelso is always saying...
Dr. Cox: I'm gonna go ahead and say this just as carefully as possible so I don't overstate it. Dr. Kelso is the most evil human being on the planet and may in fact be Satan himself.
J.D.: It's just that this isn't what I expected. Most of my patients are older and sorta checked-out, mentally.
Dr. Cox: Pumpkin, that's modern medicine. Advances that keep people alive who should've died a long time ago, back when they lost what made them people. Now, your job is to stay sane enough so that when someone does come in that you actually can help, you're not so brain-dead that you can't function. For the love of God, what?
J.D.: It's just, do you really think we should be talking about this in front of...
Dr. Cox: Her? She's dead. Write this down, Newbie. If you push around a stiff, nobody'll ask you to do anything.
J.D.: You've been like a father to me.
Dr. Cox: Fair enough. You want some real advice? If they find out nurses are doing your procedures for you, your ass will be kicked out so quick, it'll make your head spin.