Carla: Why didn't you introduce me to your mother this morning?
Turk: Because she just came by to say "hey" before she checked into her hotel. Besides, she's coming back later to look around.
Carla: OK. I was worried you thought she might not like me.
Turk: She's not gonna like you. Baby, look. My mother's never even called any girl I've ever been with by her actual name. Hell, she called my college girlfriend The Big Easy.
Carla: Well, was she fat and slutty?
Turk: She had beautiful skin. Don't smile, woman. She did. Just beautiful.