Dr. Cox: Thanks for having my back on this one.
Carla: I don't have your back on this. I just want a ringside-seat for when you get your bony white ass handed to it.

Carla: Do you even know what people are calling you around here?
Katie: I know, I don't care.
Carla: Because I wrote the worst one on this piece of paper.
Katie: "Sausages, sausages and more sausages"?
Carla: It's actually Turk's grocery list. But you do care, don't you? Katie, if you keep going down this road, eventually, people will come after you.

Elliot: Why is Nelly giving you so much attitude?
Carla: Even though I'm the head nurse, I mostly hang with doctors, I'm married to a doctor, my best friend is a doctor.
Elliot: Who's your best friend?
Carla: You are.
Elliot: I know. I just wanted to hear you say that loud.
Carla: The point is: Nurses sometimes think I'm on the wrong team.
Elliot: How could they think that? You're like the most loyal person I know. Except for the time that you booed me off the stage at the karaoke bar.
Carla: Elliot, you're not allowed to sing 'Swing Low, Sweet Chariot'.
Elliot: I just can't hit those low notes.
Carla: Sure, that's why.

Carla: Hey, Sunny, how'd it go last night?
Sunny: Great.
Carla: Thank God.
Sunny: I mean, he crashed a few times, but I brought him back. I mean, really, the only scary moment was when he seized while I was injecting him with dopamine. The needle slipped, and I accidentally stabbed myself with it, but I only freaked out for a second until I remembered that comas aren't contagious. And then the dopamine kicked in, which actually made the whole night more enjoyable, but now I'm sort of jonesing for another hit. Is that bad?
Carla: Let's go downstairs and get you some juice.

Carla: We can't go, Turk. We'd never left Izzy alone before.
Turk: Baby, separation is healthy. You want to know what happens to kids who are too close to their mothers? They end up like that.
Ted: [on the phone] Well, Mom, when I'm gone, I guess your feet will just have to rub themselves!
Carla: Ted has his own room now. He only sleeps with his mom when he's had a bad dream. Or she has.

Turk: What'd you page me to the roof for?
Carla: Well, I was thinking that you work so hard, and that if I want surprise and romance that maybe it's my turn to be the one who brings it. So I brought us a couple of salads.
Turk: That's great.
Carla: A box of 36 hot wings.
Turk: Now, that's what I'm talking 'bout.
Carla: And some blue-cheese dressing.
Turk: I love this woman!

J.D.: So, how are things at the homestead?
Turk: Ah, no worries.
Carla: [sobbing] I can't feed my own baby!