Scrubs Quotes



Scrubs follows a group of medical students, J.D., Elliot and Turk, as they begin work at Sacred Heart teaching hospital.

Starring: Zach Braff, Sarah Chalke, Donald Faison, Neil Flynn, Ken Jenkins, John C. McGinley, Judy Reyes.
Original Run: 2001-2010.

Quote of the Day

Saturday, November 28, 2020

Quote from Turk in My Fifteen Minutes

Dr. Kelso: Listen, if Dr. Kelso wants me to be a role model for the community because I'm a great doctor, then that's great and I will sign on the dotted line. But that's not what this is about. All my life I've been singled out because I'm black.
[flashback to young Turk winning a school science fair:]
Young Turk: But I didn't even enter the contest!
Man: Smile for the picture.
Turk: Remember our college brochure?
J.D.: So what? They put you on the cover.
Turk: Twice?


Popular Quotes

Quote from Turk in My Advice to You

J.D.: [v.o.] It's always nice when someone from Carla's family comes to town. Mostly because she cleans our apartment.
Carla: Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?
Turk: You mean, why is there silverware in the pancake drawer? Wuh-huh!

Quote from Janitor in My First Day

Janitor: The door is broke. Probably the fifth time or so it don't open.
J.D.: Maybe a penny's stuck in there.
Janitor: Why a penny?
J.D.: I don't know.
Janitor: Did you stick a penny in there?
J.D.: No, I was making small talk.
Janitor: If I find a penny in there, I'm taking you down.

Quote from Dr. Cox in My Student

J.D.: [v.o.] It's hard trying to figure out how to reach somebody. I guess the thing I can do is to think of someone I look up to, and remember how they got through to me.
Dr. Cox: Newbie, the only way you could be less productive right now is if you were in fact the wall on which you're leaning. Of course, then you'd be providing some jackass with a wall on which to lean against and reflect on what a jackass he truly is. I know. Here it's a conundrum.

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Quote from Dr. Cox in My Last Day

J.D.: [v.o.] Ah, just say it.
J.D.: You know, Dr. Cox, I want to thank you for this whole year.
Dr. Cox: Oh, no, no, no, no.
J.D.: And I just want to know if I can buy you dinner.
Dr. Cox: That'd be terrific.
J.D.: Great! I'm off in a half hour-
Dr. Cox: Oh, no! Here I was led to believe that you were doing a gift certificate kind of thing. But to sit and eat with you? That's... That's just... That's crazy talk. I have half a mind to issue you a drug test.

Quote from Dr. Cox in My Balancing Act

Dr. Cox: Newbie, do you happen to know what a zebra is?
J.D.: That patient just mocked me.
Dr. Cox: It's a diagnosis of a ridiculously obscure disease when it's much more likely that the patient has a common illness presenting with uncommon symptoms. In other words, if you hear hoof beats, you just go ahead and think horsies, not zebras. Mm-kay, Mr. Silly Bear?