Scrubs Quotes
Scrubs
Scrubs follows a group of medical students, J.D., Elliot and Turk, as they begin work at Sacred Heart teaching hospital.
Starring:
Zach Braff, Sarah Chalke, Donald Faison, Neil Flynn, Ken Jenkins, John C. McGinley, Judy Reyes.
Recurring Actors:
Robert Maschio, Sam Lloyd, Aloma Wright, Christa Miller, Johnny Kastl, Nicole Sullivan, Heather Graham, Tom Cavanagh, Elizabeth Banks, Eliza Coupe, Kerry Bishé, Michael Mosley, Dave Franco.
Original Run: 2001-2010.
Quote of the Day
Quote from Dr. Kelso in My Rule of Thumb
Dr. Kelso: See, this is why you shouldn't get emotionally invested in your patients.
Dr. Cox: Hey, Bobbo, now when the dark prince does finally call you home, please promise me that you'll donate your body to science. And I don't mean medical science, I mean NASA. Because when those buzz-cuts have all but given up on trying to figure out just exactly what a black hole is, and they get one look at that space where your heart was supposed to be, well, by gum, you know they're just gonna say: "Awwww, shucks! "That's what it is!"
Dr. Kelso: Hey, champ! What has two thumbs and doesn't give a crap? Bob Kelso. How ya doin'?
Popular Quotes
Quote from Turk in My Advice to You
J.D.: [v.o.] It's always nice when someone from Carla's family comes to town. Mostly because she cleans our apartment.
Carla: Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?
Turk: You mean, why is there silverware in the pancake drawer? Wuh-huh!
Quote from Janitor in My First Day
Janitor: The door is broke. Probably the fifth time or so it don't open.
J.D.: Maybe a penny's stuck in there.
Janitor: Why a penny?
J.D.: I don't know.
Janitor: Did you stick a penny in there?
J.D.: No, I was making small talk.
Janitor: If I find a penny in there, I'm taking you down.
Quote from Dr. Cox in My Student
J.D.: [v.o.] It's hard trying to figure out how to reach somebody. I guess the thing I can do is to think of someone I look up to, and remember how they got through to me.
Dr. Cox: Newbie, the only way you could be less productive right now is if you were in fact the wall on which you're leaning. Of course, then you'd be providing some jackass with a wall on which to lean against and reflect on what a jackass he truly is. I know. Here it's a conundrum.
Quote Collections
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“Elliot Reid: The Bajingo Monologues”
A collection of quotes featuring Elliot's colorful alternatives to clinical terms for the reproductive parts.
14 quotes
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A collection of quotes featuring J.D.'s best fantasies.
35 quotes
Trending Quotes
Quote from Janitor in My First Day
Janitor: The door is broke. Probably the fifth time or so it don't open.
J.D.: Maybe a penny's stuck in there.
Janitor: Why a penny?
J.D.: I don't know.
Janitor: Did you stick a penny in there?
J.D.: No, I was making small talk.
Janitor: If I find a penny in there, I'm taking you down.
Quote from Turk in My Advice to You
J.D.: [v.o.] It's always nice when someone from Carla's family comes to town. Mostly because she cleans our apartment.
Carla: Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?
Turk: You mean, why is there silverware in the pancake drawer? Wuh-huh!
Quote from Dr. Cox in My Lucky Night
J.D.: Uh, listen, while I have you here. I'm applying for a fellowship, and I could really use a letter of recommendation. I was thinking that, when you wrote it, instead of using a girl's name you could refer to me as "Dr. Dorian." I think it sounds a little more professional and, frankly, each time you call me a girl's name, I die a little inside.
Dr. Cox: Look, Janice, Denise, Tiffany Amber Thiessen! Let me go ahead and share a little something special with you that I like to call Perry's Perspective. One, if someone's standing in front of me in line at the coffee shop and they can't decide what they want in the half an hour it took to get to the register, I should be allowed to kill them. Two, I'm fairly sure if they took porn off the internet, there'd only be one website left, and it'd be called "Bring Back the Porn!" Three, and most importantly of all, the only way to be respected as a doctor - nay, respected as a man - is to be an island. You are born alone, you damn sure die alone. Isn't that right, Spike? The point is, and you just might want to jot this down: only the weak need help.
J.D.: I should get that tattooed on my neck.