Scrubs Quotes



Scrubs follows a group of medical students, J.D., Elliot and Turk, as they begin work at Sacred Heart teaching hospital.

Starring: Zach Braff, Sarah Chalke, Donald Faison, Neil Flynn, Ken Jenkins, John C. McGinley, Judy Reyes.
Original Run: 2001-2010.

Quote of the Day

Sunday, September 20, 2020

Quote from Carla in My Fifteen Minutes

Turk: You know, you're gonna have to see her eventually.
Carla: No, I don't. Because I know the layout to the air-duct system like the back of my hand. Of course I'm gonna have to see her again.


Popular Quotes

Quote from Turk in My Advice to You

J.D.: [v.o.] It's always nice when someone from Carla's family comes to town. Mostly because she cleans our apartment.
Carla: Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?
Turk: You mean, why is there silverware in the pancake drawer? Wuh-huh!

Quote from Janitor in My First Day

Janitor: The door is broke. Probably the fifth time or so it don't open.
J.D.: Maybe a penny's stuck in there.
Janitor: Why a penny?
J.D.: I don't know.
Janitor: Did you stick a penny in there?
J.D.: No, I was making small talk.
Janitor: If I find a penny in there, I'm taking you down.

Quote from Dr. Cox in My Student

J.D.: [v.o.] It's hard trying to figure out how to reach somebody. I guess the thing I can do is to think of someone I look up to, and remember how they got through to me.
Dr. Cox: Newbie, the only way you could be less productive right now is if you were in fact the wall on which you're leaning. Of course, then you'd be providing some jackass with a wall on which to lean against and reflect on what a jackass he truly is. I know. Here it's a conundrum.

Quote Collections

Trending Quotes 

Quote from J.D. in My Best Friend's Mistake

J.D.: [v.o.] It's weird, but a hospital room can actually be kind of a romantic place. Maybe it's the soft green glow of a heart monitor, or the way the moonlight reflects off a bedpan.

Quote from Dr. Cox in My Finale: Part 1

Dr. Cox: Hey, Newbie, what if say, I wanna to locate something in here about just how little I care about any given moment that you and I have spent together?
J.D.: Good question. You just go to the glossary, and you see, "How Little I Care." Page 19. Boom, page turn. Things I care as little about as J.D.'s last day of residency.
Dr. Cox: Ha-ha-ha-ha, I remember this one. [sighs] Every hybrid car, every talk-show host, everything on the planet, everything in the solar system, and everything, everything, everything, everything... Everything that existed past, present and future, and all discovered and undiscovered to mention is, and of course-
Both: Hugh Jackman!
J.D.: That was nice. I liked that we shared that.
Dr. Cox: Me too, because it's the exact sentiment that I wanna to put out there for you on your last day of work here. Thank you for this lovely present. [whistles, walks out]

Quote from Janitor in My Hero

J.D.: What's wrong?
Janitor: I lost my mop.
J.D.: Really?
Janitor: No. But that's the only thing that could make me unhappy, right? You people, you think of me as nothing but The Janitor.
J.D.: That's not true.
Janitor: What's my name? [covers name badge]
J.D.: I know that the nurses call you Sir Plunge-a-lot.
Janitor: I know.
J.D.: Come on. I'm sure you don't know my name so-
Janitor: John Michael Dorian.
J.D.: How did you know my middle name?
Janitor: Because I care.