‘The Roast’
Season 5, Episode 12 - Aired March 26, 2019
Johnny wants to perform at the annual Mayor's Roast where people poke fun at Roland. Meanwhile, Alexis learns that Ted has been selected for a prestigious research program in the Galapagos Islands, and David tries to keep Moira occupied so she won't learn that Patrick and Stevie have hired a choreographer.
Quote from Alexis
Ted: Definitely something to consider. And I guess while we're spit-balling here, you know, it could be kinda fun to go somewhere that you've never been before. Like, I don't know, the Galapagos Islands.
Alexis: Yes, Ted! An island somewhere for sure. We just need to figure out where. Mm. But I'm so glad we're on the same page about this!
Ted: Yeah, yeah. And-And what page is that?
Alexis: Well, we both agree that we wanna get away, and we both agree that we're gonna land on somewhere so good.
Quote from Ted
Alexis: It says you were one of ten people selected for a research program.
Ted: Oh, what? That's crazy.
Alexis: Is this why you kept bringing up those islands this morning?
Ted: Oh, the Galapagos Islands? Uh, not necessarily, no.
Alexis: Ted, why else would anyone wanna go there?
Ted: You mean, other than wanting to study some of the rarest and most diverse forms of plant and animal life on the planet? Uh, yeah, I guess you have a point.
Quote from Moira
Moira: I'm glad I let you talk me into another dinner, David. That note you had about including my name on the poster as a sales tool, that's something I've been debating for some time now.
David: Well, your name was already on the all mock-ups, so it was really more of an observation.
Quote from Alexis
Alexis: Of course you've done research on this trip. But you've done too much for me already. You do too much for me. And so I think it's time that I give something back to you.
Ted: My FitBit?
Alexis: No. I lost that. But the last thing I wanna do is stand between you and this job. You've worked so hard, and I'm proud of you. And so, yes, Ted Mullens, I will go to the Cayman Islands with you.
Ted: Uh, you mean the Galapagos?
Alexis: Yeah, wherever the turtles are.
Quote from Jocelyn
Johnny: Well, anyway, a couple of little improvs there to get started, but, uh, uh, what was I saying?
Ronnie: Nothing funny so far.
Roland: [laughs] Hey, Johnny, come on, I've got a white flag, why don't you just start waving it? [laughter]
Johnny: Yeah, Roland, may I point out that I was quiet when everyone else was up here doing their roasts.
Jocelyn: I wish you were quiet right now! (laughter)