Ronnie: When it comes to making decisions, Roland likes to go with his gut. And boy, does he have a lot of gut to go with. [laughter]
Roland: Oh. Yes, I do.
Ronnie: And look at Bob, pretending to get it. And we all know Gwen, he hasn't gotten it in years! [laughter]
Roland: Oh, that-Ronnie is just crushing it! I mean, you know, everybody really has so far.
Ronnie: Okay, okay, that's all I got for now. So I'm just gonna hand it over to the one who wears the pants in the Rose family. But Moira is not here right now. [laughter] So I'm gonna pass it over to Johnny.

Patrick: So how was, uh, dinner last night?
David: Ooh, long. We spent two and a half hours going over a costume lineup for the show. All so that you two of you could sneak off to some secret dance rehearsal behind her back like a pair of dirty con artists.
Patrick: Hey listen, David, your Mom is a great director. She's just not used to working with amateur dancers.
Stevie: Yeah, last week she told me to dance like an Indonesian scarf caught in the wind. I don't even know what that looks like.

Patrick: David, please, just keep her distracted for one more night.
David: No. No! It's too much!
Stevie: Okay, then I guess we can just tell her we're getting outside help.
David: Mm, good luck. When she was coaching me for the "Little Mister" pageant, I made the mistake of going to Mario Lopez for advice. He was the hosting at the time. Anyway, she found out, and felt so betrayed, she "forgot" to double-knot my tap shoes, and cost me the crown. So I will cover for you for one more night. But that is it! This better be worth it.

Roland: Hey, Johnny. I heard the news. Boy, we are really going to miss Moira tonight at the annual Mayor's Roast. I was looking forward to getting scorched.
Johnny: Oh yeah, well, she's gonna miss it, too.
Roland: Yeah, I mean, when she starts going off, oh my God, you better have the burn unit on speed dial. I mean, get the fire extinguishers ready, because she is just slinging heat! Which ultimately becomes fire.
Johnny: Yeah, I get it, I get it. She can, she can be funny on occasion.

Johnny: I'm more than capable of taking Moira's place.
Roland: Johnny, I don't think so. Those are pretty high heels to fill.
Johnny: Well, don't you worry about me, I've, uh, I've handled myself pretty well humorously speaking, in front of large crowds before.
Roland: Jeez, if you bring up that Rose Video shareholder's meeting again.
Johnny: You better be spending this time toughening your skin, because I've got more than a few rippers up my sleeve for tonight.
Roland: Okay, um, first off, I have no idea what "rippers" are.
Johnny: Well, maybe you'd know, if you graduated elementary school. [guffaws]
Roland: I can't believe you said that to me.
Johnny: Oh, Roland, I'm sorry, did I- Was that too far?
Roland: [laughs] Look at your face! "Oh Roland, I'm sorry, did I go too far?" [laughs] Oh pal, you are going to get eaten alive tonight!

Moira: David! What are you doing walking the streets all by yourself?
David: You make me sound like a feral cat. I'm walking home.
Moira: Don't tell me the store is already laying off people!
David: No, Patrick sent me home to get a check that apparently is tax for the government, and not, as I assumed, a bonus for me.

Moira: Well, I'm glad I caught you, because I got your missive about wanting to sup this evening, and I'm afraid I must decline.
David: What? Why? Why?
Moira: David, full disclosure, you have been awfully clingy of late. I think it might be propitious for you to spend some time with your peers. What's Patrick doing tonight? Or Stevie?

Moira: They've both been struggling.
David: Yeah, that's- That's it. Your choreography has been working them so hard they basically just go home and fall sleep, so actually your show is stripping me of a social life.
Moira: Alright, David, but it'll have to be a working repast. I could use your eye for the final design of the posters. Okay? You employ the wrong font, and you may as well bid Auf Wiedersehen to ticket sales.
David: Can't wait.
Moira: Until then, dear! [drives off]
David: We're both going home, though! What the hell?!

Alexis: Why didn't you tell me you were doing this?
Ted: Because I applied before we got back together, and it takes a couple years to process the applications.
Alexis: A couple years? It sounds important.
Ted: Well, listen, it's not not important. But I can, I can always apply again. You know, Emmett, the tortoise is 180-years-old, So I'm sure he'll still be around in another few years.
Alexis: You love old tortoises! It sounds like a dream.

Johnny: Oh, so I've got a lot of good material here, I just need some help sifting out the gold.
Ronnie: I still don't see why you dragged us into this.
Johnny: Well, you can be a tough audience, Ronnie.
Ronnie: What's that supposed to mean?
Johnny: See? That's what I'm looking for, honest reactions.
Bob: Well, I've been honestly reacting quite strongly to your aftershave. It's a bit too European for my taste.
Johnny: Not the most helpful feedback, Bob.