Alexis: What about you, Stevie? I didn't even know that you wanted to be an actor.
Stevie: I don't.
Alexis: Fine, "artist".
Stevie: I've been dreading this rehearsal for the past two days.
Alexis: Okay, as star of the show, you might wanna set like, a different tone for everyone.
Stevie: I think this is a huge mistake.
Alexis: You're not wrong. There has been a lot of confusion as to why I'm not the star of the show, but fair is fair. You earned it.

Moira: Willkommen and bienvenue, welcome, you to "Cabaret!" [applause] Not now, not yet.
Jocelyn: Okay, yup.
Moira: I'm sure this will come as a shock to all of you, but this production will mark my directorial debut!
Alexis: Mmm...
[Moira looks to Jocelyn to start a round of applause]
Moira: Missing cues already. No, I'm- I'm simply here to inspire. And instruct, and bring out the very best in you. And I want to start the day with my lupanarian Kit Kat Girls!

Moira: As long as you're up, why don't we jump right in? You can help me lead the first exercise.
Stevie: Uh, I thought this more of a meet and greet kind of thing.
Moira: It's the afternoon upon which your bodies will meet and greet the boards. Okay, this is called "Monster on my Back."
Stevie: Oh, fuck.

David: Okay, just so you're aware, I had a very cute, "my boyfriend's on the baseball team" spectator look prepared for today, and now I'm wearing tap shoes.
Patrick: They're called cleats, and I think you look very cute.
David: That's a given. This just isn't how I pictured being a placeholder rolling out.
Patrick: Here. I thought we could head outside, maybe throw the ball around a little bit?
David: This glove is brown. My shoes are black. What exactly are we doing here?

Johnny: Well, David, I'm surprised to see you back in a uniform.
Patrick: Whoa, I'm sorry, "back" in a uniform?
David: Okay, we don't need to get into it.
Johnny: He didn't tell you? Well, David holds the Little League record for most times hit by a ball.
David: That's assuming it wasn't intentional. They let me go home early.

Alexis: This is all a little intense.
Moira: Hmm?
Alexis: Especially for Stevie.
Moira: If anything I'm going easy on her. You should've seen the conditioning Rocky put me through. Our first day consisted of mud runs and sob therapy!

Alexis: Okay. Well, she's not you, and I think she's actually regretting signing up for this. And feels like it was a big mistake.
Moira: Really? What gave you that impression?
Alexis: Because she told me that she regrets signing up for this, and feels like it was a big mistake.
Moira: That kind of attitude's not going to get her very far as an actress.
Alexis: Well, she's clearly not an actress. You told us this morning that you were here to inspire, instruct, and bring out the best in all of us.
Moira: If only we needed to fill the role of a Dictaphone!

Alexis: Vampire person!
Twyla: Oh! Ghost! Ghost girl! Hemophiliac!
Jocelyn: Woman with amnesia!
Stevie: No.

David: When you get hit in the back playing a game you never wanted to play in the first place, does that make you the VIP?
Patrick: The MVP, and uh, no, we're not doing that.
David: Okay, what if we were doing it, though?
Patrick: Well then, you would definitely be the VIP.

Patrick: Listen, I'm sorry if this game sorta unleashed my competitive side.
David: Yeah, we really don't need to meet him again.
Patrick: But, you know, part of me wonders, would you have hit a home run if I hadn't lit that fire in you? Because I have never seen you run like that.
David: Yeah, it was mainly because I was smelling the barbecue.