David: What's going on over here? Let me see that. What is this? "Charming studio apartment for rent in lower SC." What's "lower SC?" I thought this town was just one long street.

Alexis: I am thinking about getting a place. I have some money coming in, and it's just It's not really a cute look to be this age, and live at home. No offence, David.
David: Okay, it's not like I have a lot of say in the matter.
Alexis: M'kay well, you're a full grown man, who's much older than me, living at home. So it's just a little bit embarrassing.

David: Mmm, "available immediately." I wonder if you could move out tonight?
Alexis: Uh no, because I'm gonna be using my half of the room as a guest bedroom.
Stevie: Ooh, better yet, you could sublet it. I'm sure there's plenty of vagrants looking for temporary housing.

Alexis: Speaking of which, David, I'm gonna need you to come and look at the apartment with me.
David: [imitating Alexis] Okay, why would I do that?
Alexis: Because David, as an attractive, single female, I don't feel comfortable going to look at an apartment by myself!
David: Well, what if the person who's showing you the apartment is like, a super cute single real estate guy?
Stevie: Mmm, that person doesn't exist in this town.

Jocelyn: I couldn't help but notice that you seemed a little sad sack-y today.
Johnny: Sad sack-y? Well, maybe that's because your husband is occupying the room next to us at the motel.
Jocelyn: I thought he might end up there. That's where we had our honeymoon. Had a lot of great times in that room.
Johnny: I don't think this is one of them. He was playing "Don't Cry Out Loud", loud at two in the morning.
Jocelyn: I'm so sorry. [laughs] It's our wedding song. It was actually the first song that we ever made...
Johnny: Okay, I really don't need the details on that.

Ray: Oh, and there's a lovely window here through which you can see all of the town. The cafe, the garage, a tree of some kind just, uh, over there.

Alexis: This is cute, right? I think this is super cute.
David: Wait, is it [mocking Alexis] cute? 'Cause I know that it's light, and spacious, and airy in here, but I just wasn't sure if it was cute.
Ray: Oh, it's cute.

David: What's the rent?
Ray: Uh, they want $275, but I think they're dreaming.
David: A week?
Ray: No, no, no, a month. But again, I think we can talk them down.
David: Wait, $275 a month for this? That's cheaper than my P.O. Box in New York.

Alexis: Seriously though, would you wanna live in a house where someone killed themselves?
David: I could almost guarantee you that someone's killed themselves in this room.
Alexis: Ew, David!

Moira: In a room this tiny, we've just got to ignore the little irritants of the other, or you'd go insane!
Johnny: Little irritants? What, uh- What little irritants? I have little irritants?
Moira: Yes, we all do. Peccadilloes, cloying habits.
Johnny: Like what, for instance?
Moira: All right, John. I- I drink a little too much tea sometimes.
Johnny: And that's it for you? You, uh- You drink tea?
Moira: Well, it calms me, so I suppose you would say that's because I'm inclined to get nervous or insecure.
Johnny: No, I would say you're sometimes a little defensive, and uh, perhaps a tad paranoid.
Moira: That would only be after you've taken that condescending father tone with me.