Emir: Uh, Stevie, I know I'm two hours late, but can I still take you to dinner, or have I blown it?
Stevie: Oh, you've blown it. But I'll still take a free dinner.
Emir: I can work with that, okay.

Johnny: Moira? We need to talk, sweetheart.
Moira: I'm sorry dear, is your mouth moving?
Johnny: Could you, uh, turn off the dehumidifier for a second?
Moira: Because I can't possibly hear you over the sound of the dehumidifier!

Johnny: Yeah, Moira, look. The last thing I want to do is uh rain on your parade, but I think for the next little while, any money coming in should probably be for the family.
Moira: This dress is for the family. To remind us that our futures lie outside this town. It feels these days like I'm the only one who hasn't veered off course.
Johnny: Well, no one's veering off course, Moira, we're all just, uh, taking a different approach.
Moira: The ceremonial purchase of the gown has always been my good luck charm.
Johnny: Well, from everything you've told us about this movie, Moira, it sounds like for the first time in a long time, you may not need any luck.
Moira: Oh, John! Thank you for that. And know that you've been heard!
Johnny: Good. [Moira turns on the noisy dehumidifier again]

Alexis: Listen, Ted, I've gone through enough heartbreakers for like, two people's lifetimes. And I don't want that anymore. I want you. And that cute little butt.

Stevie: Um, I thought you were gonna go to bed?
David: Oh no, I was, but then Tammy kept buying shots, and the whole room got behind me in like, a really big way. Anyway, I have seven more songs to finish, and some new fans who would be very disappointed if I don't close the show.

Alexis: Okay, are you coming out?
David: Can you stop yelling, please?! I had 14 polar bear shots last night.