Ted: Babe! I didn't like how we left things this morning.
Alexis: Me neither. I'm the one that should be sorry.
Ted: No, I should've been more direct, and we should've just talked this through. And I actually did some research on the Maldives, and there's this beautiful resort that we could stay at, it just means we might have to work there part-time, to cover the costs. But I feel like I could teach windsurfing.

Ted: We got lots of stuff. Biodegradable shampoo, and malaria pills.
Alexis: Excuse me?!
Ted: Uh no, they're just preventative. We'll also be bringing insect repellent.
Alexis: Okay. Maybe we can just get one of those sexy little mosquito nets for around our bed?
Ted: Those are actually an insane safety hazard. If they catch fire, you're basically trapped in a burning cage, so... But, totally. Actually, you know what? Why don't we go grab some breakfast, and I will tell you more about our bed there, and what we'll be doing in it.
Alexis: Theodore!

Ted: [on Skype] I-I can see you! Can you see me?
Alexis: Finally! How many days has it been?
Ted: Yeah, sorry about that. We ended up having to extend our research trip. But it was totally worth it because we discovered a new breed of fly that mates with itself.
Alexis: Yummm!

Twyla: Good evening, Ms. Rose. The other member of your party has already been seated.
Ted: [on Skype] Oh, hi.
Alexis: Ted! What is this?
Ted: Well, I couldn't let our anniversary go without a celebration. Just because we're not in the same city doesn't mean that we can't go on a date.
Alexis: And you're wearing the little tie with your short-sleeved shirt. My little Galapo-guy.
Ted: Yeah, it's actually really hot here, so the bottom half is just my bathing suit and flip-flops.
Alexis: [gasps] Ted! More about your bottom half, please!
Ted: Twyla's not standing right behind you, is she?
Twyla: Hi, Ted.

Ted: [on Skype] Alexis, I'm sorry for dropping the ball on our calls. I thought that we would have Wi-Fi on the trip and we didn't, so... the rest of the team just had to listen to me talk about you for seven days. In fact, they actually named the new fly "Alexis."
Alexis: The fly that mates with itself?
Ted: Yeah, I think the important thing is that, now, I have a little Alexis here with me, just buzzing around.
Alexis: I'm just like so happy to see your face.
Ted: Me too.
Alexis: Boop.
Ted: Boop.

Ted: [on Skype] Hey, sorry I'm late. Myrtle was laying her eggs and the whole team was really excited.
Alexis: Mmm! Yeah, I bet. Fresh omelets.
Ted: Well, Myrtle's a green sea turtle, and they only spawn every two years, so eating her eggs would actually disrupt an entire ecosystem. Plus, there's like a ton of cholesterol.

Alexis: You're here in the flesh. Hm, I missed you so much. Um, who's babysitting the turtles?
Ted: Well, I am a part of a team of 30 so they let me take the long weekend off.
Alexis: The long weekend? It's Sunday. It's over.
Ted: Yeah, I know, I was supposed to get here yesterday morning but my first connecting flight was delayed and then I got food poisoning from some bad milk on my second connecting flight.
Alexis: Ew Ted, they made you drink milk on the airplane?
Ted: No, I actually ordered it, and in my defence, they were serving cookies, so.

Alexis: Okay, so um, how long do we actually have then?
Ted: Just today.
Alexis: Oh my God. Okay. Then enough about the milk thing even though I have like 50 more questions about it.
Ted: Yeah, yeah, no need to milk it.
Alexis: Ooh, we definitely don't have time for that.

Stevie: I say we play truth or dare.
Ted: Oh Stevie, I'm in!
Alexis: Oh no, Ted. Get your housecoat and your other slipper. It is time to go.
Ted: You got it, big guy.
Alexis: Okay.
Ted: Okay. Sorry. I'm sorry. Good game!