Previous Episode Next Episode 
Stop Saying Lice!

‘Stop Saying Lice!’

Season 3, Episode 11 -  Aired March 21, 2017

Alexis is reluctant to seek help after she catches lice from another student. As Johnny struggles to contain the outbreak at the motel, David seeks refuge at Stevie's place. Meanwhile, Moira is less than thrilled when the town dedicates a garden to her.

Quote from Alexis

Johnny: Apparently there's a lice outbreak in your class.
David: Oh, my God!
Alexis: Ew! Ugh, it's probably Kelsey, she's such a horse girl.
Johnny: Honestly, Alexis, if you don't like the way somebody looks...
Alexis: Dad, that's so mean! She doesn't look like a horse, she just talks about them a lot. And smells a bit.


Quote from Roland

Roland: Moira, I don't think you understand how rare it is for somebody to have something named for them in this town. I mean, yeah, the whole town is named after me, and Bob over here, he's got his bench.
Bob: Bob's Bench.
Roland: And Ronnie's got her rec centre.
Ronnie: It's an outdoor tennis court, and last year the net was stolen.
Roland: Well, she's kind of under selling it there, the rec center is a major hook-up spot for the kids.
Bob: So is the bench.
Roland: Right.

Quote from Jocelyn

Jocelyn: You know, Moira, having your name on a small, local garden wouldn't take away from any of those other amazing achievements.
Moira: You might think, but this little particular little tribute was bought by my husband, in an attempt to assuage my ego.
Jocelyn: And that would be different from the other times because...?
Moira: Well, I mean, of course philanthropy and recognition always go hand in hand, but...
Jocelyn: Listen. I know this isn't what you wanted, but I think it would make Johnny really happy to make you happy. I mean, take Roland. Every year he buys me coconut macaroons, and I just don't have the heart to tell him I am really allergic to coconut. Yeah, every Valentine's Day I just rash right up. [laughs] Last year my throat almost completely shut.

Quote from Patrick

David: Okay, so if you wouldn't mind sorting these body milks by size, that would be great.
Stevie: Can you drink these?
David: Um, it's liquid moisturizer, for your body, so no, you can't drink them.
Patrick: [enters] Did you ask if you can drink it, too?
David: Okay, it says body milk on the label!
Patrick: You know, I told David that the label was gonna be misleading, but he insisted. What was it you said? "Anyone with a fibre of common sense would know that it's not actually milk."
David: What do we think body milk is, if not milk for your body?!

Quote from David

David: Okay, is this how this is gonna go? Because we have way too much work to do today for me to feel attacked by way of an imbalanced social dynamic.

Quote from David

David: Um, so you know what I think would be super fun, if we hung out at your place tonight.
Stevie: My place?
David: Mmm-hmm.
Stevie: You've never been to my place.
David: Yeah exactly, you were just saying that we haven't been spending as much time together, and that it's been really bothering you.
Stevie: I don't remember saying that last part.

Quote from David

David: Yeah, so I was just thinking like, what about a late night hang, or like, a platonic sleepover?
Stevie: Mmm. What's on your head?
David: Hmm? A hat. That I'm test driving for the store.
Stevie: I mean, what's happening under the hat? The other side.
David: Oh, I see. Yeah, um, that would be a shower cap.
Stevie: So this would have nothing to do with the lice outbreak at the motel? Your dad just called me.
David: Um, so I might be taking preventative measures. I can't afford to have the store infested with lice.
Stevie: I don't think it works that way, but just so we're clear, you were wanting to have a platonic sleepover at my place would have nothing to do with the fact that your sister has lice?
David: Yes, that is almost entirely correct.

Quote from Moira

Moira: Good morning!
Bob: Who's gonna be the one to tell her?
Roland: I'll handle this.
Moira: Have I been let go? Should I leave?
Roland: No.
Moira: I won't make a scene.
Ronnie: You still have three and a half more years.
Moira: But who's counting?

Quote from Moira

Moira: I never thought I'd see the day, John. You've been domesticated beyond recognition.

Quote from Johnny

Moira: And when were you planning on telling me this, John?!
Johnny: Well, Moira, it's not like you have overreacted to bad news in the past. I just thought it might sit better with you once you'd heard about the garden.
Moira: No, I just told you about the garden.
Johnny: Uh-huh.
Moira: John, did you ask Roland and Bob to name a garden after me?
Johnny: No, no! They wanted to name the garden after you, Moira. After I offered to pay for the plaque, and a good chunk of the upkeep.

 First PagePage 3