Roland: [laughs] Oh, Johnny. Well, I see why you've had such a great week.
Johnny: Okay, I don't know what you're implying, but I don't like your tone.
Roland: Johnny, please. This little operation has been on the council's radar for quite a while now. And I'm sorry, but that was no Sunday school teacher coming outta here.
Johnny: Okay look, this whole thing was a mistake. This whole thing! But I'm working on it. I'm working to shut it down, quickly.
Roland: Well, I'm really happy to hear that, because I would hate to have to assert my mayoral authority in a situation like this, yes?
Johnny: Yeah, and nobody wants to avoid that more than me.
Roland: Good, okay. Well, you know what, I'm glad I helped you fix your uh, broken moral compass.
Johnny: Well, there's nothing wrong with my moral compass, but...
Roland: All right, well, why don't we tell Kitty that? [snickers]

Alexis: Okay. Listen, you might wanna think about spicing up your approach a little bit.
Ted: The bottom line is that I did not go to med school just to exploit innocent puppies as a cover for my extreme vanity!
Alexis: But people love extreme vanity! And they love puppies, so you have to give them at least one of the two.

Trish: I'd like to book three rooms.
Johnny: Three rooms? Okay. Now will that be uh, three [computer chimes] separate, uh, bookings?
Trish: You see, there's a conference over in Elmdale, and I was hoping to use the motel as a kind of a breakout space to conduct my own business out of, for the next two days. During the afternoons.
Johnny: [computer chimes repeatedly] Okay, we seem to be having a bit of a problem with the system here, but not to worry.
Trish: Are you new at this?
Johnny: Ish. [laughs]
Trish: Well, not to complicate things for you even more, um, Johnny, but I would love if we could work out some kind of a discounted deal, seeing as we're not gonna be needing the rooms during the evenings.
Johnny: Okay, um, tell you what. Why don't I go to a fresh page here, and we'll get this done. Lickety-split, okay. So...
Trish: I would love to pay cash.
Johnny: Whew! Even better.

Ted: Look at this filth!
Alexis: "Community centre adds ramp."
Ted: No, this. He says the comma's a typo, but it has run that way three years in a row!
Alexis: Who is this person? He looks like if Ricky Martin and Mark Consuelos had a baby.
Ted: It's the competition, and he's selling his body to get clients, it's disgusting!
Alexis: You could probably take just as sexy a photo if you wanted to.
Ted: I could definitely take just a- I don't want to. Let me ask you this question. Why should the person who is performing surgery on your pet have to have a six pack?!
Alexis: You have a six pack.
Ted: That's not the point! And it's not a full six yet, That's why I'm shredding right now.

Alexis: I don't know, it looks like a pretty smart campaign to me.
Ted: If he wants to sell sex, then he should just get a job down at the Dude Cave! He'd make more money than being a vet.
Alexis: Um, what's the Dude Cave?
Ted: It's the all male strip club outside of town. My cousin Dwayne works there; he drives a Corvette.

Alexis: Oh. What about the bunnies that we have up for adoption? We can set up like, a little bunny cam, and stream it live from our clinic. That is very popular with people who hate their jobs, or are in loveless marriages.
Ted: Are those the people we wanna be targeting?
Alexis: Well, it's free marketing, and you can find little homes for those little bunnies that don't have any houses.
Ted: Fine! But if those bunnies feel exploited even a little bit, I am pulling the plug!
Alexis: Yes. Hunny P.

Moira: Okay this is really taking me back. [coughs] Okay, David, I'll need you to count me in.
David: Okay, um, from what?
Moira: Start from five, you leave out the two, and the one.
David: Okay, why?
Moira: Because it's my process.
David: Okay. Um... Five, four...
Moira: One.

Alexis: Come look at this, look at the bunnies!
David: [gasps] Cute! This isn't one of those animal rights viral videos where the bunnies go through a meat processor in the end, is it?
Alexis: Ew, no, David.

Alexis: I set this up to get people to visit Ted's website. Poor thing is, like, out of it when it comes to selling himself. There are 200 people watching this, David! That's like, double your Instagram followers.
David: Okay, my account is private, thanks.

David: There's Ted.
Alexis: Yeah, sometimes he comes in and out.
David: Um, Ted is taking his clothes off.
Alexis: You wish, David.
David: No, Ted is getting naked on your webcam!
Alexis: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! I emailed our entire client list about this, David! I emailed his parents!
David: I'm obsessed with this. This is incredible! [both gasp]
Alexis: No, no, no, no, no, no! Ted looks good.
David: Yeah, he does.
Alexis: David, he looks really good.
David: Okay, that's gross. Okay, so... [takes laptop]
Alexis: [gasps] David!