Alexis Quote #425
Alexis: [phone rings] Oh! It's Buzzfeed calling about the 10 goriest Clara Mandrake accidents from the film.
Moira: Best we take it.
Features in the collection: The Crows Have Eyes.
Blair: There's a problem with the script?
Moira: Well, just a few character adjustments.
Blair: [laughs] I'm kidding. The script's a total dumpster fire, of course.
Moira: Hah! If the script were garbage, I don't believe we'd have signed on.
Blair: It's an apocalyptic fantasy about mutant crows. I think we all know what we're making here.
Moira: A timely allegory about prejudice.
Twyla: Oh, it's too bad you won't be there tonight. It would've been nice to cheer you on.
Jocelyn: Yeah, and my plus-one, Janet from the Elmdale Chronicle, would've really loved a quote.
Moira: Well, you might want to tell your friend Janet that there just may be a bombshell attendee after all.
Twyla: [gasps] Yay! A premiere! Oh, I don't know if I have anything fancy enough to wear.
Moira: Oh, my default is always formal, but I'm sure no one will bat a side-eye at black-tie casual. Oh, but do pack eye-drops! The film's first third is densely packed with exposition, and you won't want to blink.
Jocelyn: Are you sure it's okay that we haven't seen the first two movies?
Moira: Oh, it's actually best. A lot of this film blatantly contradicts what's been established in the first two.
Quote from Ted
Ted: [on Skype] Hey, babe!
Alexis: Hey, babe!
Ted: Oh my God! Where are you? Is that the ocean? I wish. It's a poster of the ocean. 'Cause I'm actually in Stewart's dorm room right now because mine got evacuated last night - small fire ants issue.
Alexis: Yikes! Hope everything's okay.
Ted: It was a real "Fyre Fest." [chuckles]
Quote from Moira
Barb: We are so very lucky to be joined this morning by Moira Rose. Well, ach!
Barb: What a ride this has been!
Moira: What a ride indeed, Barb! Oh, let me first assure your viewers that not a single crow was harmed, and as for the humans, oh, nothing but a little wounded pride... and one severed earlobe.
Quote from The Hospies
Alexis: [singing] Are you ready? Let's do it. I'm a Lamborghini I'm a Hollywood star I'm a little bit tipsy When I drive my car I'm expensive sushi I'm a cute, huge yacht I'm a little bit single Even when I'm not Ah! Ah! I'm little bit I'm a little bit I'm a little bit of la la la-la-la-la-la A little bit Alexis La la la-la-la-la-la A little bit Alexis
Jocelyn: Oh wow, okay. [stops music]
Jocelyn: Just wonderful.
Alexis: Okay, yeah, I still actually had a few more verses. And in the last verse, I really get to showcase my range.
Quote from Ronnie's Party
David: So are you nervous? This is like the first job you've ever had.
Alexis: No it isn't.
David: Putting your name on a line of edible nail polish isn't what I would call having a job.
Alexis: I was very hands on, David. I came up with all the flavours by myself.
David: Even the one that poisoned all those people?
Alexis: David, the factory in Guangzhou assured us that it was lead-free. Ugh!