Blair: There's a problem with the script?
Moira: Well, just a few character adjustments.
Blair: [laughs] I'm kidding. The script's a total dumpster fire, of course.
Moira: Hah! If the script were garbage, I don't believe we'd have signed on.
Blair: It's an apocalyptic fantasy about mutant crows. I think we all know what we're making here.
Moira: A timely allegory about prejudice.

Twyla: Oh, it's too bad you won't be there tonight. It would've been nice to cheer you on.
Jocelyn: Yeah, and my plus-one, Janet from the Elmdale Chronicle, would've really loved a quote.
Moira: Well, you might want to tell your friend Janet that there just may be a bombshell attendee after all.
Twyla: [gasps] Yay! A premiere! Oh, I don't know if I have anything fancy enough to wear.
Moira: Oh, my default is always formal, but I'm sure no one will bat a side-eye at black-tie casual. Oh, but do pack eye-drops! The film's first third is densely packed with exposition, and you won't want to blink.
Jocelyn: Are you sure it's okay that we haven't seen the first two movies?
Moira: Oh, it's actually best. A lot of this film blatantly contradicts what's been established in the first two.

Ted: [on Skype] Hey, babe!
Alexis: Hey, babe!
Ted: Oh my God! Where are you? Is that the ocean? I wish. It's a poster of the ocean. 'Cause I'm actually in Stewart's dorm room right now because mine got evacuated last night - small fire ants issue.
Alexis: Yikes! Hope everything's okay.
Ted: It was a real "Fyre Fest." [chuckles]

Barb: We are so very lucky to be joined this morning by Moira Rose. Well, ach!
Lizzie: Ach!
Barb: What a ride this has been!
Lizzie: Yes.
Moira: What a ride indeed, Barb! Oh, let me first assure your viewers that not a single crow was harmed, and as for the humans, oh, nothing but a little wounded pride... and one severed earlobe.

Alexis: Um... what's all this?
Moira: They just keep coming.
Alexis: Well, congratulations. That must mean everyone's happy.
Moira: Oh, very happy, yes. Thanks to your little attack of the corvidae, we are Interflix's number one stream of the day. Tied only with the fourth season of Caroline in the City.
Alexis: From Interflix. "To Alexis, congratulations and thank you. The competition is eating crow." [chuckles] "Love, your new best friends at Interflix."
Moira: They're all for you. Well, not those, those are from Joyce DeWitt.