Roland Quote #223
Quote from Roland in The Job Interview
Roland: Hello, Johnny!
Johnny: Look, I appreciate the gesture, guys, but, uh, this is not a good night for champagne.
Moira: Oh, speak for yourself, John.
Jocelyn: Oh good, you're lying down! We have big news.
Moira: If you're referring to the bath-time video Gwen posted...
Roland: N-no, n-no, it's... it's not that exciting. No, um... [clears throat] well, we... brought the motel!
Johnny: What?!
Jocelyn: Yeah, we took out a second mortgage on our house.
Roland: Yeah. After what went down at dinner, Joc and I started talking, and we figured, well, if it's good enough for Bill Gates to invest in, it's, uh, good enough for us to invest in.
Johnny: Roland, we don't actually know...
Schitt's Creek Quotes
‘The Job Interview’ Quotes
Quote from Moira
Moira: Alexis! Your father and I are going to meet for a celebratory lunch when he's done at the bank, and... I was supposed to invite you to join us.
Alexis: Yeah, I'm a little busy.
Moira: What in God's name do you have there? Please tell me it's not a Testudine.
Alexis: No, it's a turtle.
Moira: Alexis! Turtles do not pets make. The poor things are riddled with a myriad of diseases. You may as well tie a leash around a raw chicken cutlet.
Quote from Twyla
Twyla: My mom had a turtle dove that was eaten by her ex-fiancé's snake. That was a bad sign.
Alexis: Oh my God.
Twyla: And it happened on Valentine's Day.
Alexis: Mm.
Twyla: And her fiancé was a Satanist.
Quote from Ted
Alexis: Well, I guess if this is what you look like after finding some gross fly, I can forgive you for being away for so long.
Ted: [on Skype] I've actually been bench pressing 100-pound tortoises because there's no gym here.
Alexis: Ted! Stop making me jealous of turtles.
Ted: Tortoises, but I do have "tur-tell" you that I've been thinking about you, a lot, especially at nighttime.