Moira Quote #703

Quote from Moira in The Incident

Moira: David, don't tell me you've had a nighttime oopsie-daisy.
Patrick: I'm sorry, a what?
David: I'm leaving. Okay? And if I don't come back it's because of you. [exits]
Patrick: Me?
Moira: Ooh dear. David's nocturnal enuresis used to only happen when he went to bed all juiced up with excited anticipation about something. Christmas, birthdays, the Ides of March. And now it seems your impending nuptials has opened the floodgates.
Patrick: Oh! Why am I oddly flattered?
Moira: I can't imagine.


Features in the collection: The Vocabulary of Moira Rose.

‘The Vocabulary of Moira Rose’

Quote from Moira in Opening Night

David: Um, Jake, this is my mother.
Jake: Listen, I'm really sorry, I didn't think anybody would be home.
David: Okay, nobody was supposed to be home. Nobody was supposed to be home, so... You were supposed to be at lunch, why- Why are- Why were you not at lunch?!
Moira: David, stop acting like a disgruntled pelican!

Quote from Moira in The Olive Branch

Moira: After a glut of unasinous ideas put forth today, the room is suddenly bombilating with anticipation. Can we feel that? It's almost as though we're building towards some sort of inevitable climax.

 ‘The Incident’ Quotes

Quote from Moira

Moira: Very well. Let me see what you're typing! "Big news coming soon, caw caw!" And a little yellow cartoon... winking. You know what would be fun, Alexis, let's put a beak on that winking cartoon.
Alexis: No, you can't do that.
Moira: Let me handle this, please. Okay, is it on? Can they see us?
Alexis: No, you just press "send."
Moira: Alexis, this is exciting! We have our very own digital soapbox here! It reminds me of the Nickelodeon pilot I did in which Ashley Tisdale and I played suffragettes. You remember, "You Go, Girl."

Quote from Patrick

David: What is that noise?
Patrick: I don't know. Maybe the sheets are a bit stiff.
David: No, it's like a, a crinkling sound.
Patrick: Oh, you're probably just sitting on the mattress tag.
David: [gasps] Is this a mattress protector?
Patrick: No. No, no, that's a... a second sheet that you put on the mattress, um, that my mom gave me when I moved in, so I just...
David: You put down a plastic sheet?
Patrick: Well, I don't think it's a pla... I mean, it might have like a rubberized coating, but I don't know.
David: Oh my God!
Patrick: Purely coincidental.

 Moira Rose Quotes

Quote from Roadkill

Johnny: When might we expect your daughter to show up? Because we do have a very busy day ahead of us.
Hank: Well, Baby's still sleeping. But if you wanna go and wake her up, tell her what happened, by all means.
Moira: Where is bébé's chamber?
Hank: [floorboards creak] Oh, there she is now. She's either up, or takin' a leak.
Moira: Either way, great progress for bébé.

Quote from The Throuple

Moira: I never meant for you to think that I didn't wanna spend any time with you. Well I hope it's not too late to make up for lost time.
Alexis: Okay. What is your favourite season?
Moira: [inhales sharply] Awards.