David Quote #438
Stevie: Oh, yeah. Wait, that smells exactly like the stuff we used to use at the motel. Like, exactly.
Wait a second... That's why! Gel Time Moist Liquid. Contains 100% moist liquid.
Roland: Uh-oh, Davey got busted!
David: Okay, this is not our product, Roland! Anyone who sells counterfeit luxury beauty products is clearly a sociopath.
Roland: Dave, I don't wanna tell you how to run your business, but 3 or 15 dollars for Gel Time is a total rip-off. I mean, pharmacies hand those out for free on Halloween.
Stevie: David, you have to talk to Wendy.
David: Okay, what am I gonna tell her? That her curious life partner, who looks nothing like me, is some big old con artist?
Schitt's Creek Quotes
‘Roadkill’ Quotes
Quote from Moira
Johnny: When might we expect your daughter to show up? Because we do have a very busy day ahead of us.
Hank: Well, Baby's still sleeping. But if you wanna go and wake her up, tell her what happened, by all means.
Moira: Where is bébé's chamber?
Hank: [floorboards creak] Oh, there she is now. She's either up, or takin' a leak.
Moira: Either way, great progress for bébé.
Quote from David
David: Are you hearing anything I'm saying?
Alexis: Yes. Stay off your phone. Wait for the delivery man to drop off whatever. You can trust me.
David: Okay, can I? Because the last time I left you in charge of something...
Alexis: Ugh! This is about those stupid Tamagotchi?
David: Actually it is.
Stevie: Okay guys.
Alexis: You left me with six of them, David. Taking care of that many is like a full-time job!
David: I left you with six adult Tamagotchis in perfect health! And by the time I came home, they were all dead. You have to like actively murder them in order for that to happen!
Quote from Moira
Johnny: Okay, well maybe there's something we can do.
Moira: Does bébé enjoy the theater?
Baby: Hmm?
Moira: How about two complimentary, partially-obstructed view seats to Cabaret?
Wife: No! She likes the Kinky Shoes.
Baby: You got tickets to Kinky Shoes?
Moira: I believe it's Kinky Boots. And no.