Ted Quote #56
Quote from Ted in Housewarming
Alexis: Yay! God, what are you doing here?
Ted: Hey, sweetie. You were right, we deserve a night out. So, I just pushed all my morning appointments. Which will be fine, I guess, it just means that I'll be staying up 'til 1:00 A.M. on a Saturday, spaying with a pretty shaky hand.
Alexis: What can I get you to drink?
Ted: Oh no, don't worry about that. After you used all of my booze for your punch, the only alcohol left in my fridge was a few of your rum, raspberry, coconut coolers. So I just polished them off, and it tasted like burnt plastic, and I regretted it instantly.
Schitt's Creek Quotes
‘Housewarming’ Quotes
Quote from Moira
Moira: Well, I'm off. [baby cries]
Johnny: All right, have fun, sweetheart.
Moira: You realize the bébé is crying?
Johnny: I do, yes.
Moira: Isn't it scheduled to be dormant by now?
Quote from Moira
Moira: Oh, if it weren't for Joyce Dewitt insisting on wearing those pigtails, this movie could've been a hit! We're supposed to be astrophysicists, it just takes you out of it. And yet, she, she gets the close up!
Johnny: Well, that was shocking.
Moira: I know, right? And I get the aerial shot for my love scene.
Johnny: No, no, I'm talking about the kid. To think this little thing could create so much destruction.
Moira: Oh, you've completed the diaper substitution. Aren't you the Sephardic Mr. Clean!
Quote from Moira
Johnny: Ooh! I think I just found the issue. It might be in the diaper.
Moira: Oh, it was the bébé. I'm so relieved!
Johnny: Yeah, I think they left extra diapers. They assumed we'd take care of it. You wanna grab the rubber gloves?
Moira: They're Tom Ford, John, no! And they wouldn't fit you anyway.
Johnny: The cleaning gloves under the sink.