David: Um, so I just dropped off these, um, dog sweaters, for the pet adoption thing.
Ted: Okay, great, yeah. It's always gifts for the dogs, and never for me. Definitely one of my "pet peeves".
David: Yes?
Ted: I'm sorry, I just I just was expecting Alexis, so you showing up here has really thrown me off my game.
David: Um, no, your game is tight.

Patrick: What you're doing is very brave.
David: Mm-hmm.
Patrick: Very generous, okay? And I don't wanna add more stress to your day, but I love you.
David: Okay, so so you just said that to me for the first time, knowing that it would make my day more stressful.
Patrick: That's correct.
David: Because you know that I've never said that to anyone else, aside from my parents twice, and one time at a-
Patrick: Mariah Carey concert, I know. Yeah. And I don't expect you to say it back to me, right now. You say it when you're ready. It just felt right to me, in the moment. You're my Mariah Carey.
David: Okay. That compliment could bring me to tears, but I'm not gonna let it. So, I... would like to thank you for all the wonderful things that you said.

Alexis: Hey, singles, I'm Alexis Rose, and I, like all of you, am single. [applause] I would just like to welcome you to the first annual Schitt's Creek Singles Week. [applause and cheers] Now I know many of you are excited about the lock and key event. [applause and cheers] The more I think about it, the more I feel like that game kind of sends the wrong message. Because it makes it seem like, as soon as you find the right key, everything's just supposed to work out, right? But life is more complicated than that. Now, I used to think that my one special lock needed to be like super aggressive, and come from a long line of Adriatic royalty, or have a beard, and be really into the woods. Then I realized that sometimes, a special little lock can come along, that you didn't think would fit because it didn't look, or act, like the lock you thought you needed. So instead of actually giving it a real chance, you throw it away because it was too nice. And it liked you too much, and cared. And now that lock has found another key, and you are so happy for it, and you just need to accept that, and find a new lock.
Woman: So, are we playing a game, or not?
Alexis: Yes! That is what I'm trying to say, we're just gonna play a better game. Um, one that kinda promotes giving people a chance.