Schitt's Creek - Alexis Quote #265

Quote from Alexis in Open Mic

Alexis: Okay. I'm gonna offer you both a PR and marketing strategy, pro bono. And if you're into it, we'll pull the trigger, we'll work on my contract and my salary, and then we'll get things going from there.
Johnny: Well, now's not the time to take our foot off the gas, Stevie, and if we have a publicist at our disposal.
Stevie: Would we call her a publicist?
Alexis: Um, I actually prefer to be called a freelance brand invigorator.
Stevie: Hmm.
Alexis: And I also have a super easy multi-step plan in place for the motel.

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‘Open Mic’ Quotes

Quote from Patrick

Patrick: So I'm sensing some apprehension.
David: No, I think it's, you know, it's- It's not scary or embarrassing for the person you're dating to sing at you with an acoustic guitar in front of people. I think that's cool.
Patrick: David, you're gonna be fine. It's just a way to get some people in the store, okay?
David: Yeah. Yes, for sure. I mean, if you are, confident, to put yourself and our relationship at risk like that, then I am 87% behind you.
Patrick: Good to know. So now the only question is, do I wear my fringed vest?
David: Okay.
Patrick: Or more importantly, do I wear anything under it?

Quote from Patrick

Patrick: All right, um, I would like to dedicate this song to a very special someone in my life. David Rose.
David: Okay.
Patrick: There he is, right there. That's him. Can't miss him.
Moira: You'll let me know if I should pull the fire alarm?
David: Yes.
Patrick: [playing guitar and singing "The Best" by Tina Turner]

Quote from Moira

Roland: Don't say a word.
Moira: That's not fair! Roland, why should I be the only one encumbered with this emotional cargo? Oh, Ronnie, Ronnie, might you and I confabulate for a moment in the back room?
Ronnie: No, Moira, I'm not falling for that one.
Moira: No, I assure you. I assure you it's a salacious bit of Council-related news.

Alexis Quotes

Quote from The Hospies

Alexis: [singing] Are you ready? Let's do it. I'm a Lamborghini I'm a Hollywood star I'm a little bit tipsy When I drive my car I'm expensive sushi I'm a huge, huge yacht I'm a little bit single Even when I'm not Ah! Ah! I'm little bit I'm a little bit I'm a little bit of la la la-la-la-la-la A little bit Alexis La la la-la-la-la-la A little bit Alexis
Jocelyn: Oh wow, okay. [stops music]
Alexis: La-la-la.
Jocelyn: Just wonderful.
Alexis: Okay, yeah, I still actually had a few more verses. And in the last verse, I really get to showcase my range.

Quote from Driving Test

Alexis: I don't know why you didn't ask me first, David. I have my license in seven different countries, And I have my "F" Class.
David: Isn't that for transport trucks?!
Alexis: Yes, well, I had a lot of people to move! Anyway, it's not a big deal. You just get in, you do what they tell you, and then you get out. And wear your best hair perfume.
David: Okay, I don't have hair perfume, and not all of us can flirt our way into getting a driver's license!
Alexis: Okay, you try parallel parking in a burka, David. No amount of flirting can get you out of that, trust me!

Quote from Ronnie's Party

David: So are you nervous? This is like the first job you've ever had.
Alexis: No it isn't.
David: Putting your name on a line of edible nail polish isn't what I would call having a job.
Alexis: I was very hands on, David. I came up with all the flavours by myself.
David: Even the one that poisoned all those people?
Alexis: David, the factory in Guangzhou assured us that it was lead-free. Ugh!