David Quote #299
Quote from David in Asbestos Fest
David: What if we did the number?
Moira: The number?
David: Yeah, I know, it was stupid, it was dumb. It was a dumb idea.
Moira: David, you would do that for me? I thought you used to hate it when I'd trot you out in front of my friends?
David: I still do, it's just that I'm finding this situation to be incredibly disturbing, and I will eventually need my bed back.
Moira: Do you think people would find it strange, or even inappropriate?
David: Probably.
Moira: And do you think we still have it?
David: I'll go plug in my hair straightener. [pointing to his bed] I hope you're not wearing your shoes.
Schitt's Creek Quotes
‘Asbestos Fest’ Quotes
Quote from Roland
Roland: No, I need to clean a toilet!
Johnny: You need to clean a toilet?
Roland: [sighs] Yeah, I need to Johnny, I- I mean, with the new baby coming, things are a little tight. Joce and I have been trying to save, but we've been living off cold cuts and waffles. And Jocelyn had to sell her Beanie Baby collection. She didn't get half what that Diana Bear was worth. And now she's working nights down at the gas station.
Johnny: She's working nights?
Roland: No, she's not, but she will have to if things get really bad.
Quote from Moira
Moira: You know, I know all about being left in the lurch for a fundraiser. Eva Longoria and I were supposed to perform our ventriloquist act for the "Everybody Nose" benefit for juvenile rhinoplasty, when she suddenly drops out due to exhaustion. I had to be both puppet, and puppeteer.
Quote from Alexis
Alexis: Those kids are one hundred percent stealing from you.
David: I don't think so.
Alexis: Okay. They split up into four different directions, one takes the back left corner, one takes the right, one of them asks you if you have those wool hoodies in a different size, while the last one compliments you on your cuticle game. And while you're lapping all that up, the two in the back corner are filling their backpacks full of facial cleanser. It's the exact same move that I used with my klepto friends in the Hamptons.