Roland Quote #110

Quote from Roland in Stop Saying Lice!

Roland: Moira, I don't think you understand how rare it is for somebody to have something named for them in this town. I mean, yeah, the whole town is named after me, and Bob over here, he's got his bench.
Bob: Bob's Bench.
Roland: And Ronnie's got her rec centre.
Ronnie: It's an outdoor tennis court, and last year the net was stolen.
Roland: Well, she's kind of under selling it there, the rec center is a major hook-up spot for the kids.
Bob: So is the bench.
Roland: Right.

Rate

 ‘Stop Saying Lice!’ Quotes

Quote from David

David: Um, am I reading this right?
Alexis: "The Moira's Rose's Garden."
Johnny: Okay, look, I went back and forth on the name a couple of times, and I may have confused the engraver.
David: The Moira's Rose's Garden. So the garden is dedicated to a rose that Moira owns?
Alexis: I don't think that there are enough apostrophes.

Quote from Moira

Johnny: Well, I thought it was a nice gesture.
Moira: Oh no, no. Now I just wonder what else you're keeping from me.
Johnny: Nothing! Well, Alexis has lice.
Moira: What?! Ew! Ewww! I assume you shaved her head! And we have to put a wig on her. But not one of my wigs! These have to be boxed now!
Johnny: Moira, I've got it all taken care of. And I'd think twice about that garden.
Moira: Oh, it's too late, the notion of that garden is as abhorrent to me as our daughter's scalp!
Johnny: And I was worried about you overreacting.
Moira: [screams]

 Roland Schitt Quotes

Quote from Honeymoon

Roland: My son lives in a barn in the woods, by choice. He could be the next mayor of this town if he wanted it.
Johnny: My son is pansexual.
Roland: Mm-hmm, I've heard of that. I know what that is. That's, uh, that cookware fetish.
Johnny: No.
Roland: Mm-hmm!
Johnny: No, no.
Roland: No, I read about that.
Johnny: No. He loves everyone. Men, women, women who become men, men who become women. I'm his father, and I always wanted his life to be easy. But, you know, just pick one gender, and maybe, maybe everything would've been less confusing.
Roland: Well, you know, Johnny, when it comes to matters of the heart, we can't tell our kids who to love. Who said that?
Johnny: You did.

Quote from The Motel Guest

Johnny: You didn't hear us last night?
Roland: Nope.
Johnny: Banging away?
Roland: Now, whatever you and the missus do after hours, that's your business, not mine.
Johnny: On the walls, Roland, with our fists!
Roland: And if you're into that kind of stuff, that doesn't bother me at all.