David Quote #256
Quote from David in Stop Saying Lice!
David: Yeah, so I was just thinking like, what about a late night hang, or like, a platonic sleepover?
Stevie: Mmm. What's on your head?
David: Hmm? A hat. That I'm test driving for the store.
Stevie: I mean, what's happening under the hat? The other side.
David: Oh, I see. Yeah, um, that would be a shower cap.
Stevie: So this would have nothing to do with the lice outbreak at the motel? Your dad just called me.
David: Um, so I might be taking preventative measures. I can't afford to have the store infested with lice.
Stevie: I don't think it works that way, but just so we're clear, you were wanting to have a platonic sleepover at my place would have nothing to do with the fact that your sister has lice?
David: Yes, that is almost entirely correct.
Schitt's Creek Quotes
‘Stop Saying Lice!’ Quotes
Quote from Moira
Johnny: Well, I thought it was a nice gesture.
Moira: Oh no, no. Now I just wonder what else you're keeping from me.
Johnny: Nothing! Well, Alexis has lice.
Moira: What?! Ew! Ewww! I assume you shaved her head! And we have to put a wig on her. But not one of my wigs! These have to be boxed now!
Johnny: Moira, I've got it all taken care of. And I'd think twice about that garden.
Moira: Oh, it's too late, the notion of that garden is as abhorrent to me as our daughter's scalp!
Johnny: And I was worried about you overreacting.
Moira: [screams]
Quote from David
David: Um, am I reading this right?
Alexis: "The Moira's Rose's Garden."
Johnny: Okay, look, I went back and forth on the name a couple of times, and I may have confused the engraver.
David: The Moira's Rose's Garden. So the garden is dedicated to a rose that Moira owns?
Alexis: I don't think that there are enough apostrophes.
Quote from Johnny
David: I don't even see a rose in the garden.
Moira: Because there aren't any roses.
Alexis: Or are we the Roses?
Johnny: Okay, I'm getting roses for the garden. I'm- I'm getting roses.
David: Oh, okay. And what are these numbers for?
Alexis: That's mom's birthday, David.
Moira: Those are the last four digits of your father's credit card.
Johnny: It was a complicated order form, all right? There were a lot of fields to fill in.
David: Um, I hope you got a really good deal on this.
Moira: It's by the letter, so he paid extra for those apostrophe "s's."