Schitt's Creek - Twyla Quote #35
Twyla: Well, I would ask someone else, it's just that, uh, so far no one is coming.
Moira: No one's coming to your party?
Twyla: Well, in fairness, the party is still a few hours away. And some people did say that if another thing that's supposed to happen doesn't happen, then they might be able to come, so, that's good.
Moira: So as of now you have no one on your guest list?
Twyla: Well, I shouldn't have said no one. My mom will come. And she'll probably bring whoever she's dating. And he'll most likely bring some younger friend.
Quote from Moira
Moira: Oh, and it's Roaring Twenties themed, and I know you have a soft spot for seersucker.
David: I won't be dressing up.
Moira: Aw, say, don't be a dew-dropper! Throw some concealer under those peepers, make like a swell, and go put on the Ritz!
Quote from Alexis
Alexis: Um. Okay, the thing is I can't go to college, yet. Because I didn't finish high school.
Alexis: I know. It's so embarrassing, and I never should've taken that semester off. But I did meet Beyonce in Mykonos, so it was almost worth it.
Ted: Didn't you say on your resume that you did four years at UCLA?
Alexis: Yes... Technically, if you consider Bel Air an extension of the campus, which everybody does. This might sound crazy, but I almost think I should finish high school.
Quote from Moira
Moira: Twyla, this is unacceptable! There are myriad tactics to boost numbers at your party! Well, you start by comping a few influential guests. You'd be shocked at how many celebrities show up to a thing with the promise of a free Wagyu slider.
Quote from Moira's Nudes
Twyla: Between you and me, I know how hard it can be to pay off debt. My Uncle Ken only has three fingers now, which is too bad, because he's deaf, and he only speaks using sign language, but he made his choices.
Quote from Our Cup Runneth Over
Twyla: Hi, I'm Twyla. I'll be your waitress today. Anyway, I read about you guys, and everything you've gone through, it sounds super crappy.
Johnny: Super crappy?
Twyla: I had a second cousin in Elmdale who did telemarketing, he made a ton of money. It turns out his entire business was illegal, and he lost everything.
Johnny: Hm. Not quite the same.
Twyla: Yeah, no, he went to prison, which is terrible, but... But he is learning Spanish, "No mas, le duele!" I think it means, "Stop, it hurts."
Moira: Oh, wonderful anecdote. Could you give us a moment please?
Quote from Little Sister
Alexis: So what's going on over there?
Twyla: I'm just working on something. Just a little thing for Mutt.
Alexis: Oh! Is it his birthday or something?
Twyla: No. Um, my dad always said, "When in doubt, say it with a song." He was a roadie with Fleetwood Mac and that was the last thing Mick Fleetwood said to him before the band hit him with a restraining order.