Alexis: Oh, my God, ever since David left, you two have been so dramatic. Do I have to remind you of the time that I was taken hostage on David Geffen's yacht by Somali pirates for a week, and nobody answered my texts?!
Moira: I had just had my eyelashes dyed, everything was cloudy!

David: So are you nervous? This is like the first job you've ever had.
Alexis: No it isn't.
David: Putting your name on a line of edible nail polish isn't what I would call having a job.
Alexis: I was very hands on, David. I came up with all the flavours by myself.
David: Even the one that poisoned all those people?
Alexis: David, the factory in Guangzhou assured us that it was lead-free. Ugh!

Johnny: You took your signs? I didn't know you took the signs. Why would you take your own signs?
Moira: Well, I couldn't very well take Jocelyn's. That would be stealing and I'm running a clean campaign.
Johnny: You call this a clean campaign?
Moira: Politics 101, John. When you have limited resources, your best course of action is to create a stir. It's exciting. It's fun. It's like that episode of Sunrise Bay when I stole my own bébé.

Moira: Ugh! My campaign signs have gone missing.
Johnny: What?
Twyla: You had election signs?
Moira: Yes! All of them! Gone!
Twyla: Wow. Maybe people were mowing their lawns.
Johnny: Well, it's probably just kids.
Moira: What if there's a more sinister explanation?
Twyla: Oh, like the wind.

Wendy: Well, it's already happening. They're coming in this week, they're bringing the paperwork.
David: As your brand manager, I feel like I need to be at that meeting.
Wendy: I don't know.
David: At least let me talk to a few people before you decide. If there's one thing I've learned from "The Good Wife", it's never accept a first offer.