Schitt's Creek - Roland Quote #53
Roland: Have you ever seen "The Devil Wears Prada?"
Roland: Okay, well, Meryl Streep plays this kind of powerful, sexy fashion woman-
David: Yep, I've seen it!
Roland: Okay, anyway, Jocelyn and I like to have a little fun with that idea, if you know what I mean. She plays Meryl, and I play the nervous but ambitious intern who's new to the city.
David: Oh, so you're the- So you- You're the Anne Hathaway in that situation?
Roland: I don't know who that is.
David: Well, that's more than enough information for me to go on.
Quote from Roland
Roland: Are they durable?
Wendy: Oh well, durability's a given here at the "Blouse Barn." And if you're asking my opinion-
David: Are we, though?
Wendy: It's between these two.
Roland: Well, this is a real "Sophie's Choice!"
David: I hope that you and Jocelyn don't role play that at home.
Roland: Hell, we've played every Streep movie.
Quote from Ray
Ray: And sold! To Johnny Rose, for the price of $15 dollars. Which, uh, I hope you can afford. You know, considering your financial situation.
Johnny: Yeah, I get it, Ray. I get it. I get it. I've got cash, and I'd just like my cufflinks, please.
Quote from Moira
Johnny: I wonder who got my golf clubs.
Moira: Really, John, that's the first thing that comes to mind?
Johnny: They were custom made.
Moira: So was my Galapagonian tortoise-shell foot bath. And now some lonely hoarder is letting his cats poop in it.
Quote from Honeymoon
Roland: My son lives in a barn in the woods, by choice. He could be the next mayor of this town if he wanted it.
Johnny: My son is pansexual.
Roland: Mm-hmm, I've heard of that. I know what that is. That's, uh, that cookware fetish.
Johnny: No, no.
Roland: No, I read about that.
Johnny: No. He loves everyone. Men, women, women who become men, men who become women. I'm his father, and I always wanted his life to be easy. But, you know, just pick one gender, and maybe, maybe everything would've been less confusing.
Roland: Well, you know, Johnny, when it comes to matters of the heart, we can't tell our kids who to love. Who said that?
Johnny: You did.
Quote from Carl's Funeral
Jocelyn: Moira! Your "Danny Boy". What a voice.
Moira: Oh, thank you.
Roland: Yeah. I'd really like you to sing at my cousin's funeral. She's not dead, but she's been coughing a lot lately.
Quote from The Motel Guest
Johnny: You didn't hear us last night?
Johnny: Banging away?
Roland: Now, whatever you and the missus do after hours, that's your business, not mine.
Johnny: On the walls, Roland, with our fists!
Roland: And if you're into that kind of stuff, that doesn't bother me at all.