Alexis: Oh, my God, ever since David left, you two have been so dramatic. Do I have to remind you of the time that I was taken hostage on David Geffen's yacht by Somali pirates for a week, and nobody answered my texts?!
Moira: I had just had my eyelashes dyed, everything was cloudy!

David: So are you nervous? This is like the first job you've ever had.
Alexis: No it isn't.
David: Putting your name on a line of edible nail polish isn't what I would call having a job.
Alexis: I was very hands on, David. I came up with all the flavours by myself.
David: Even the one that poisoned all those people?
Alexis: David, the factory in Guangzhou assured us that it was lead-free. Ugh!

Alexis: Oh, my God, ever since David left, you two have been so dramatic. Do I have to remind you of the time that I was taken hostage on David Geffen's yacht by Somali pirates for a week, and nobody answered my texts?!
Moira: I had just had my eyelashes dyed, everything was cloudy!

Johnny: It's been three days without any contact.
Roland: Johnny, you wouldn't know this, but statistics tell us you have a 48 hour window before you can assume somebody is dead.
Johnny: Yeah, I just said it's been three days.
Roland: Then do we call off the search?
Johnny: Oh, my God!

Johnny: Do you know how many times I've had to apologize to Roland? You can't just leave with other people's trucks, David! What were you thinking?
Moira: What you did was impulsive, capricious and melodramatic. But it was also wrong.