Schitt's Creek - Roland Quote #41

Quote from Roland in Town for Sale

Johnny: Very successful. His family made a fortune in the shelving business.
Roland: Okay, fine. Um, he called me while he was bumping uglies with this old lady.
Johnny: Oh no, really?
Roland: But that's not the problem. The problem is he put me on the speaker phone. I mean, who would do such a thing? I mean, that's something you would do.
Johnny: No, no,
Roland: As soon as he put me on his speakerphone I thought of you.
Johnny: That's not something...

Rate

‘Town for Sale’ Quotes

Quote from Moira

Moira: It's a great coat. At least let us see it on you.
Jocelyn: I gave it away. I'm sorry. It just it didn't suit me. And I thought about Ronnie and, you know, she could always use some more feminine pieces in her wardrobe, and so I took it over to her and she really liked it, so I paid it forward.
Moira: Well, Jocelyn, there are certain things that are just not done: Smoking in a car with a baby, unless you crack a window; tipping before tax; mixing drinks with cola; and giving away a coat that doesn't belong to you.

Quote from Moira

Johnny: People do come out of comas.
Moira: Oh, I'd kill for a good coma right now.

Quote from Moira

Moira: David? Should I take this with me?
David: If I'm being perfectly honest, it's very low on the totem pole of coats of yours that I like, but-
Moira: It was a gift from your father.
Johnny: Hey, that's a good coat. I outbid Richard Branson for it at the Kiminski auction.
Moira: I did get sick of having hot coffee and blood thrown at me. You know who covets this coat? Jocelyn. I could bestow it upon her as a parting gift.
Johnny: We may want to put pen to paper before we start giving away designer clothing, sweetheart.
Moira: It would be her first piece of clothing made outside of mainland China. I'm gonna do it.

Roland Quotes

Quote from Honeymoon

Roland: My son lives in a barn in the woods, by choice. He could be the next mayor of this town if he wanted it.
Johnny: My son is pansexual.
Roland: Mm-hmm, I've heard of that. I know what that is. That's, uh, that cookware fetish.
Johnny: No.
Roland: Mm-hmm!
Johnny: No, no.
Roland: No, I read about that.
Johnny: No. He loves everyone. Men, women, women who become men, men who become women. I'm his father, and I always wanted his life to be easy. But, you know, just pick one gender, and maybe, maybe everything would've been less confusing.
Roland: Well, you know, Johnny, when it comes to matters of the heart, we can't tell our kids who to love. Who said that?
Johnny: You did.

Quote from The Motel Guest

Johnny: You didn't hear us last night?
Roland: Nope.
Johnny: Banging away?
Roland: Now, whatever you and the missus do after hours, that's your business, not mine.
Johnny: On the walls, Roland, with our fists!
Roland: And if you're into that kind of stuff, that doesn't bother me at all.

Quote from Carl's Funeral

Jocelyn: Moira! Your "Danny Boy". What a voice.
Moira: Oh, thank you.
Roland: Yeah. I'd really like you to sing at my cousin's funeral. She's not dead, but she's been coughing a lot lately.