TV Quotes

Alexis: So, this is weird. Um, today marks the longest relationship that I've ever voluntarily had with someone.
Mutt: Voluntarily.
Alexis: Yeah. The actual longest relationship was, um, a three month affair with a Saudi prince, but for the last two months of that I was trapped in his palace trying to get to an embassy.

Alexis: So what's going on over there?
Twyla: I'm just working on something. Just a little thing for Mutt.
Alexis: Oh! Is it his birthday or something?
Twyla: No. Um, my dad always said, "When in doubt, say it with a song." He was a roadie with Fleetwood Mac and that was the last thing Mick Fleetwood said to him before the band hit him with a restraining order.

Johnny: Well, word to the wise, son, don't spend all your money at once.
David: I thought you weren't getting involved.
Johnny: No, I'm not. I'm not. I'm just saying, word to the wise, is all.
David: Okay, what does "word to the wise" even mean?
Johnny: Word to the wise. When you're speaking to somebody wise, you lis- You're cognizant of what they're saying. A wise person telling you... Anyway, just... Just, uh, keep that in mind, and, um, keep up the good work.

Johnny: Hey, look at us, son, a couple of working stiffs back from the salt mines.
David: What?
Johnny: Two men, back from the mines.
David: What mines? What's that mean?
Johnny: It's a figure of speech.
David: Um, I don't get that.
Johnny: The salt mines! Back from when people mined.
David: Uh huh.
Johnny: When miners worked in the, salt industry, they'd come home, after digging salt. I don't know what it means!