Ted Quote #11
Quote from Ted in Carl's Funeral
Ted: So, to get you more comfortable around animals-
Alexis: Not a puppy, Ted.
Ted: No, that would be cruel to the puppy. No, I got you this.
Alexis: "Opening your heart to animals: A guide to the benefits of caring for something other than yourself." It's a very specific book.
Ted: You might wanna check out page 37.
Alexis: Is it a credit card?
Ted: No. It's a room key. To the premium king suite at the Holiday Inn Express in Elmdale, and they have a very strict no pets allowed policy.
Alexis: Well, it just so happens that I have packed my overnight bag.
Schitt's Creek Quotes
‘Carl's Funeral’ Quotes
Quote from Roland
Jocelyn: Moira! Your "Danny Boy". What a voice.
Moira: Oh, thank you.
Roland: Yeah. I'd really like you to sing at my cousin's funeral. She's not dead, but she's been coughing a lot lately.
Quote from Moira
Johnny: What do you say about guy you couldn't care less about?
Moira: Oh, it's Gord what's-his-name's funeral all over again.
Johnny: Who's Gord what's-his-name?
Moira: Exactly. He was some kind of crew-person on Sunrise Bay. I made an obligatory appearance at the service and his hysterical girlfriend cornered me into saying a few words. I didn't have a thought in my head, so I just stood up and sang "Danny Boy." Not a dry eye in the house.
Quote from Twyla
Twyla: Hey, Bob. How are you holding up?
Bob: Oh, you know. Not bad.
Twyla: You know, they say death is just life except you're not here. You're somewhere else, you know? But- But that's okay because at least you're somewhere, you know? But when does- When does somewhere become there? And when does there become here? And I- It-
Bob: Just, just a coffee, please.
Twyla: For here?
Bob: Yeah.