TV Quotes

Alexis: Okay, my turn, my turn, my turn. Um, okay. My eyes are brown, I am basically sample-sized, and one time I escaped from a Thai drug lord's car trunk by bribing him with sex.
Johnny: Right idea, honey, but you know what? It's gotta be more challenging for everybody-
Moira: Her eyes are aqua.
Johnny: You did what?
Alexis: I'm kidding! I clearly would never bribe anybody with sex.
Johnny: When were you in Thailand?!
Alexis: I told you that I was on spring break. Everyone can just calm down because Aroon was a lovely gentleman until he ran out of money.

Twyla: Hey. Have we decided?
Moira: Just coffee, please.
Johnny: Uh, Twyla, do you get along with your parents?
Twyla: I did. It's a little different now. My mom has this thing where half the time she thinks I'm her cousin Angela. And it's getting harder and harder to coordinate visitation times with my dad in prison.
Johnny: I'm sorry I asked.
Twyla: Oh, that's okay! I'll get you your coffees.

Johnny: When might we expect your daughter to show up? Because we do have a very busy day ahead of us.
Hank: Well, Baby's still sleeping. But if you wanna go and wake her up, tell her what happened, by all means.
Moira: Where is bébé's chamber?
Hank: [floorboards creak] Oh, there she is now. She's either up, or takin' a leak.
Moira: Either way, great progress for bébé.

Moira: I never meant for you to think that I didn't wanna spend any time with you. Well I hope it's not too late to make up for lost time.
Alexis: Okay. What is your favourite season?
Moira: [inhales sharply] Awards.