David Quote #548
Patrick: I don't wanna rub salt in the wound here, David, but Jocelyn is kinda crushing it.
David: Okay, I have also had a very active day on the sales floor.
Patrick: David, she has sold more in one day than we have all week. And you've spent the better part of the afternoon standing in the corner giving her cut-eye.
David: I'm mentoring her, and monitoring her progress. And frankly, it's not moving as fast as I'd like.
Patrick: Why can't you just admit that she is an asset?
David: It's probably beginner's luck, like when you walk into a casino and win big on your first pull of the "Basic Instinct" slot machine.
Patrick: Okay, I'm beginning to think that that is the high point of your entire life.
Schitt's Creek Quotes
‘Rebound’ Quotes
Quote from Moira
[Schitt's Creek tourism video, on the street in front of Bob's Garage:]
Moira: Oh, hello, you. I'm film and television's Moira Rose. Won't you join me for a little stroll through the slice of paradise I like to call... the town where I currently am.
[in the cafe:]
Moira: Did someone say fine dining? The Café Tropical has certainly been described as "fine." Oh, hello, Twyla. I'll have the Miso Black Cod, please.
Twyla: We don't have that.
Moira: You mean, you're sold out, is more like it!
[in Rose Apothecary:]
Moira: And when it's time to escape the hustle and bustle of the downtown core, you'll find all the peace and solitude your body craves here at our local apothecary. No noisy customers or busy cash registers here, to intrude upon your inner cogitations.
Patrick: It's-it's not usually this quiet.
Moira: Oh, it's always nice and quiet here.
David: Can you stop saying that?
[outside the Rosebud Motel:]
Moira: And finally, when it's time to lay down your weary head, you'll find comfort and safety at the partially renovated Rosebud Motel. And don't forget to say hello to your handsome proprietor, Mr. Johnathon Rose.
Johnny: Thank you for having us.
Moira: John, no.
[outside Rose Apothecary:]
Moira: So why wait? Book your vacation now to this humble little oasis. If heaven had a creek, it would be this one.
[title: the end]
Quote from Twyla
Johnny: Could I get a coffee, Twyla, please?
Twyla: So I see Alexis is getting back out there.
Johnny: Has she told you anything about this guy?
Twyla: No, but I think he dated my aunt. I don't know, I was a baby at the time, but there's a photo of him holding me at Christmas. And I remember that, because that was the year Santa brought me a lighter.
Quote from Moira
Moira: Stevie! Either a flock of poultry has delivered its ova mid-flight upon our car, or I've become the victim of a vandalization!
Stevie: Oh wow. Um... you sure it's for you, Mrs. Rose? Because that's a family car, and I can think of a handful of people who'd wanna egg David.
Moira: You're sweet, dear, but I know of what I speak. Stevie, you are blessed with anonymity, and thus will never have to know the crippling fear that accompanies global repute.
Stevie: Yeah, I can't imagine.
Moira: After my first centerfold with Soap Opera Digest, a deranged fan deposited locks of hair into my glove compartment. And now my return to prominence has painted another giant bulls-eye on my thorax!
Stevie: Um, I could give you this bucket of soap.
Moira: No! You never tamper with a crime scene. I'll have to go to council. Get in please, Stevie. As of now, you are my star witness. And sit low, no point endangering both our lives.
Stevie: Fine.