Alexis Quote #406

Quote from Alexis in The Job Interview

Twyla: I think you guys are just going through a tough time. But... who knows? Maybe you'll be pleasantly surprised by how much closer this brings the two of you. And if it makes you feel any better, turtles actually thrive out of captivity.
Alexis: Thanks, Twy. Oh, and if you do see Ted like waddling around in the kitchen, just feed him a carrot and shoot me a text.
Twyla: [laughs] I hope you're joking.
Alexis: Me too, girl. [air kiss] Love you!

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 ‘The Job Interview’ Quotes

Quote from Moira

Moira: Alexis! Your father and I are going to meet for a celebratory lunch when he's done at the bank, and... I was supposed to invite you to join us.
Alexis: Yeah, I'm a little busy.
Moira: What in God's name do you have there? Please tell me it's not a Testudine.
Alexis: No, it's a turtle.
Moira: Alexis! Turtles do not pets make. The poor things are riddled with a myriad of diseases. You may as well tie a leash around a raw chicken cutlet.

Quote from Twyla

Twyla: My mom had a turtle dove that was eaten by her ex-fiancé's snake. That was a bad sign.
Alexis: Oh my God.
Twyla: And it happened on Valentine's Day.
Alexis: Mm.
Twyla: And her fiancé was a Satanist.

Quote from Ted

Alexis: Well, I guess if this is what you look like after finding some gross fly, I can forgive you for being away for so long.
Ted: [on Skype] I've actually been bench pressing 100-pound tortoises because there's no gym here.
Alexis: Ted! Stop making me jealous of turtles.
Ted: Tortoises, but I do have "tur-tell" you that I've been thinking about you, a lot, especially at nighttime.