Moira: Very well. Let me see what you're typing! "Big news coming soon, caw caw!" And a little yellow cartoon... winking. You know what would be fun, Alexis, let's put a beak on that winking cartoon.
Alexis: No, you can't do that.
Moira: Let me handle this, please. Okay, is it on? Can they see us?
Alexis: No, you just press "send."
Moira: Alexis, this is exciting! We have our very own digital soapbox here! It reminds me of the Nickelodeon pilot I did in which Ashley Tisdale and I played suffragettes. You remember, "You Go, Girl."

David: What is that noise?
Patrick: I don't know. Maybe the sheets are a bit stiff.
David: No, it's like a, a crinkling sound.
Patrick: Oh, you're probably just sitting on the mattress tag.
David: [gasps] Is this a mattress protector?
Patrick: No. No, no, that's a... a second sheet that you put on the mattress, um, that my mom gave me when I moved in, so I just...
David: You put down a plastic sheet?
Patrick: Well, I don't think it's a pla... I mean, it might have like a rubberized coating, but I don't know.
David: Oh my God!
Patrick: Purely coincidental.

Patrick: Hey, let's talk about something else.
David: Sure, um... what's the thread count on this plastic?
Patrick: Okay, would it help if I were to share something private and embarrassing with you?
David: I might be too tired for that tonight.
Patrick: Ha ha! If we're gonna be married, I just think it's important that we be as open and honest with each other as we possibly can.
David: What is this sexy thing?
Patrick: Okay, I only put this in when you're not around. It's my mouth-guard.
David: Oh... well, there's nothing really embarrassing about that. Also, you look very beautiful.
Patrick: Aw, thank you. Um, hmm. How about... now?
David: My God!
Patrick: This is my nose thing, and it just helps me breathe better.
David: I have never been more attracted to you.
Patrick: Mm, same.
[They kiss and laugh]
David: Ooh! Ronnie's texting me a link to something?
Patrick: Okay, put it away, David. It's bedtime.