Alexis: Oh, my God, ever since David left, you two have been so dramatic. Do I have to remind you of the time that I was taken hostage on David Geffen's yacht by Somali pirates for a week, and nobody answered my texts?!
Moira: I had just had my eyelashes dyed, everything was cloudy!

David: So are you nervous? This is like the first job you've ever had.
Alexis: No it isn't.
David: Putting your name on a line of edible nail polish isn't what I would call having a job.
Alexis: I was very hands on, David. I came up with all the flavours by myself.
David: Even the one that poisoned all those people?
Alexis: David, the factory in Guangzhou assured us that it was lead-free. Ugh!

Moira: How mercurial is life? We all imagine being carried from the ashes by the Goddess Artemis and here I get a balatron from Barnum and Bailey. [small laugh]
Roland: Okay. I, I have no idea what that means, but it doesn't sound good.

Johnny: Well, you're here now, Moira, and so am I. And, with your career behind you, we'll be able to... take advantage of more days like this. Does this not remind you of that wellness retreat we went to in Evian, right after Alexis ended things with Sean Penn?
Moira: Yes. You and I wandered down to the lake, ne'ery a person to be found. Bid adieu to our clothing and let the cool sting of the mineral water remind us that we were, in fact, alive and well.
Johnny: I lost my Patek Philippe in that lake, but I wouldn't have had it any other way.

Moira: We seem to have found ourselves alone again, Mr. Rose.
Johnny: Moira, that was 15 years ago!
Moira: Mm-hm?
Johnny: What if someone sees us?
Moira: Who knows what will befall us tomorrow, John? You could be hit by a Mack truck, or bopped on the head by a tiny piece of space debris!