Johnny Quote #254
Quote from Johnny in The Roast
Johnny: I'm more than capable of taking Moira's place.
Roland: Johnny, I don't think so. Those are pretty high heels to fill.
Johnny: Well, don't you worry about me, I've, uh, I've handled myself pretty well humorously speaking, in front of large crowds before.
Roland: Jeez, if you bring up that Rose Video shareholder's meeting again.
Johnny: You better be spending this time toughening your skin, because I've got more than a few rippers up my sleeve for tonight.
Roland: Okay, um, first off, I have no idea what "rippers" are.
Johnny: Well, maybe you'd know, if you graduated elementary school. [guffaws]
Roland: I can't believe you said that to me.
Johnny: Oh, Roland, I'm sorry, did I- Was that too far?
Roland: [laughs] Look at your face! "Oh Roland, I'm sorry, did I go too far?" [laughs] Oh pal, you are going to get eaten alive tonight!
Schitt's Creek Quotes
‘The Roast’ Quotes
Quote from Johnny
Johnny: Well, things seem to be going downhill fast. Which is what the town must've been thinking when Roland elected himself Mayor. [laughter]
Roland: Okay, I'll give him that.
Johnny: Oh, got a smile out of Ronnie. The last time anyone saw her this happy was at a 3-for-1 sale on cargo pants! [laughter]
Ronnie: Where? Where? [laughter]
Roland: All right, Johnny, starting to make some moves, now.
Johnny: Cargo, I said car-go, which is what a car is supposed to do unless you take it to Bob's Garage! [laughter]
Quote from Ronnie
Johnny: Ah! Top ten things you don't want Roland to be in charge of-
Ronnie: Ten too many, Johnny. You gotta be short and quick, like Roland in the bedroom.
Bob: [laughs] Now, that, that one kills every year.
Johnny: Oh, no, I love that one. Is that one up for grabs?
Ronnie No. You've gotta go for the jugular, Just stay away from spouses, kids, and health, and you'll be fine. Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta get back to work, which, up until now, was the most boring part of my day.
Quote from Alexis
Ted: Yeah, see, this is why I didn't wanna push it on you this morning, okay? Because you mean way more to me than some dumb once-in-a-lifetime job opportunity.
Alexis: Ted, I don't know what to say. I'd totally think about it, but like, my laptop's here...
Ted: Okay, honestly, just don't worry about it.
Alexis: Well, what about long distance? I once maintained a successful, semi-committed text relationship with Josh Hartnett while he was shooting "Pearl Harbour".