David Quote #458
Patrick: David, please, just keep her distracted for one more night.
David: No. No! It's too much!
Stevie: Okay, then I guess we can just tell her we're getting outside help.
David: Mm, good luck. When she was coaching me for the "Little Mister" pageant, I made the mistake of going to Mario Lopez for advice. He was the hosting at the time. Anyway, she found out, and felt so betrayed, she "forgot" to double-knot my tap shoes, and cost me the crown. So I will cover for you for one more night. But that is it! This better be worth it.
Schitt's Creek Quotes
‘The Roast’ Quotes
Quote from Johnny
Johnny: Well, things seem to be going downhill fast. Which is what the town must've been thinking when Roland elected himself Mayor. [laughter]
Roland: Okay, I'll give him that.
Johnny: Oh, got a smile out of Ronnie. The last time anyone saw her this happy was at a 3-for-1 sale on cargo pants! [laughter]
Ronnie: Where? Where? [laughter]
Roland: All right, Johnny, starting to make some moves, now.
Johnny: Cargo, I said car-go, which is what a car is supposed to do unless you take it to Bob's Garage! [laughter]
Quote from Alexis
Ted: Yeah, see, this is why I didn't wanna push it on you this morning, okay? Because you mean way more to me than some dumb once-in-a-lifetime job opportunity.
Alexis: Ted, I don't know what to say. I'd totally think about it, but like, my laptop's here...
Ted: Okay, honestly, just don't worry about it.
Alexis: Well, what about long distance? I once maintained a successful, semi-committed text relationship with Josh Hartnett while he was shooting "Pearl Harbour".
Quote from Ronnie
Johnny: Ah! Top ten things you don't want Roland to be in charge of-
Ronnie: Ten too many, Johnny. You gotta be short and quick, like Roland in the bedroom.
Bob: [laughs] Now, that, that one kills every year.
Johnny: Oh, no, I love that one. Is that one up for grabs?
Ronnie No. You've gotta go for the jugular, Just stay away from spouses, kids, and health, and you'll be fine. Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta get back to work, which, up until now, was the most boring part of my day.