Alexis: Oh, my God, ever since David left, you two have been so dramatic. Do I have to remind you of the time that I was taken hostage on David Geffen's yacht by Somali pirates for a week, and nobody answered my texts?!
Moira: I had just had my eyelashes dyed, everything was cloudy!

David: So are you nervous? This is like the first job you've ever had.
Alexis: No it isn't.
David: Putting your name on a line of edible nail polish isn't what I would call having a job.
Alexis: I was very hands on, David. I came up with all the flavours by myself.
David: Even the one that poisoned all those people?
Alexis: David, the factory in Guangzhou assured us that it was lead-free. Ugh!

Alexis: I already purchased a booth. Your name is on the website, and I just printed out all of these headshots for you to sign. Obviously I will be taking commission.
Moira: Alexis, there's a good reason I've avoided these conventions in the past. Showing up, taking your picture with a motley crew of pale, dewy-faced salamander people. I haven't hit rock bottom quite yet. It's a matter of self-worth.
Alexis: You did a commercial for adult diapers!
Moira: In Japan! In full-face Kabuki makeup!

Alexis: Okay, here's how it's gonna go down. It's 30 seconds each, tickets in hand, or it's back of the line, and no, she will not be clarifying any Sunrise Bay plot points.
Moira: Ahem. Feet.
Alexis: Oh, yes. And if we're talking feet, it's $75 for one, $150 for the pair.

David: Like they know about "us", right?
Patrick: Okay. Listen, David. I've have been wanting to tell them about us. I really have, I just was waiting to do it in person, and then I didn't go home for the holidays, and then I was feeling so comfortable with you, and your family.
David: Yeah. Yeah, I-I don't know why I assumed, um... So all this time, your parents thought they were just talking to your your business partner?
Patrick: Okay. David, I know my parents are good people, I just... [emotional exhale] Hmm, I can't shake this, this fear that there is a small chance that this could change everything. That they might see me differently, or treat me differently.
David: Uh-uh.
Patrick: But I'm gonna deal with this as soon as I see them next, okay?
David: Okay, what you're dealing with is very personal. And something you should only do on your terms. Okay? That's why I brought this couple home one day in college, and just told my parents to deal with it.