David Quote #436
Stevie: Roland, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be at the motel!
Roland: I'm on my coffee break, and I ran out of foot cream. Those are 3 for 15, yes?
David: These are not from our store.
Roland: Well, what are you talking about? I just got 'em off your table over there.
Stevie: That's not our table.
Roland: Well then, why were you standing there?
David: That's not me! And he's still standing there!
Roland: Okay um, do you want the sale, or not?
David: Uh no, you can buy our superior foot cream at a slightly higher price.
Roland: Geez. You were a lot nicer when I was talking to you over there.
Schitt's Creek Quotes
‘Roadkill’ Quotes
Quote from Moira
Johnny: When might we expect your daughter to show up? Because we do have a very busy day ahead of us.
Hank: Well, Baby's still sleeping. But if you wanna go and wake her up, tell her what happened, by all means.
Moira: Where is bébé's chamber?
Hank: [floorboards creak] Oh, there she is now. She's either up, or takin' a leak.
Moira: Either way, great progress for bébé.
Quote from David
David: Are you hearing anything I'm saying?
Alexis: Yes. Stay off your phone. Wait for the delivery man to drop off whatever. You can trust me.
David: Okay, can I? Because the last time I left you in charge of something...
Alexis: Ugh! This is about those stupid Tamagotchi?
David: Actually it is.
Stevie: Okay guys.
Alexis: You left me with six of them, David. Taking care of that many is like a full-time job!
David: I left you with six adult Tamagotchis in perfect health! And by the time I came home, they were all dead. You have to like actively murder them in order for that to happen!
Quote from Moira
Johnny: Okay, well maybe there's something we can do.
Moira: Does bébé enjoy the theater?
Baby: Hmm?
Moira: How about two complimentary, partially-obstructed view seats to Cabaret?
Wife: No! She likes the Kinky Shoes.
Baby: You got tickets to Kinky Shoes?
Moira: I believe it's Kinky Boots. And no.