Alexis Quote #366
Ted: Well, I am not the delivery guy, but I come bearing gifts.
Alexis: But I didn't pay for that.
Ted: I know, I got it at the flea market.
Alexis: Mmm. Thank you for the delivery. Do you need my signature? [lowering her cardigan and bra strap] Oops.
Ted: Oh wow! [giggling] Uh, um, miss, seems that the strap has fallen off of your shoulder. I'd offer to put it back for you, but as a delivery guy, I don't know if it's my place.
Alexis: Oh, how respectful. Now, if only you had that much respect for my time. I've been waiting here forever.
Ted: Um, sorry that I'm late my grandmother passed this morning.
Alexis: Ew! Oh, my God, Ted!
Ted: Sorry, I wasn't prepared for an improv.
Alexis: No, it's fine, it's fine. Okay, what else weren't you prepared for?
Ted: The import taxes?
Schitt's Creek Quotes
‘Roadkill’ Quotes
Quote from Moira
Johnny: When might we expect your daughter to show up? Because we do have a very busy day ahead of us.
Hank: Well, Baby's still sleeping. But if you wanna go and wake her up, tell her what happened, by all means.
Moira: Where is bébé's chamber?
Hank: [floorboards creak] Oh, there she is now. She's either up, or takin' a leak.
Moira: Either way, great progress for bébé.
Quote from David
David: Are you hearing anything I'm saying?
Alexis: Yes. Stay off your phone. Wait for the delivery man to drop off whatever. You can trust me.
David: Okay, can I? Because the last time I left you in charge of something...
Alexis: Ugh! This is about those stupid Tamagotchi?
David: Actually it is.
Stevie: Okay guys.
Alexis: You left me with six of them, David. Taking care of that many is like a full-time job!
David: I left you with six adult Tamagotchis in perfect health! And by the time I came home, they were all dead. You have to like actively murder them in order for that to happen!
Quote from Moira
Johnny: Okay, well maybe there's something we can do.
Moira: Does bébé enjoy the theater?
Baby: Hmm?
Moira: How about two complimentary, partially-obstructed view seats to Cabaret?
Wife: No! She likes the Kinky Shoes.
Baby: You got tickets to Kinky Shoes?
Moira: I believe it's Kinky Boots. And no.