Alexis Quote #355
Quote from Alexis in A Whisper of Desire
Cheryl: And there he was, naked as the day he was born, just wailing! It had rained, and his cotton candy was melting all down his hand!
Ted: Yeah, that was fun, but uh, maybe we can start telling some stories about someone else who was naked and crying?
Alexis: Okay, fine, but I think everyone here has already heard about my Vin Diesel adventure.
Features in the collection: The Misadventures of Alexis Rose.
Schitt's Creek Quotes
‘The Misadventures of Alexis Rose’
Quote from Moira in Finding David
Alexis: Oh, my God, ever since David left, you two have been so dramatic. Do I have to remind you of the time that I was taken hostage on David Geffen's yacht by Somali pirates for a week, and nobody answered my texts?!
Moira: I had just had my eyelashes dyed, everything was cloudy!
Quote from Alexis in Ronnie's Party
David: So are you nervous? This is like the first job you've ever had.
Alexis: No it isn't.
David: Putting your name on a line of edible nail polish isn't what I would call having a job.
Alexis: I was very hands on, David. I came up with all the flavours by myself.
David: Even the one that poisoned all those people?
Alexis: David, the factory in Guangzhou assured us that it was lead-free. Ugh!
‘A Whisper of Desire’ Quotes
Quote from Moira
Moira: And who, may I ask, is bold enough to scale this cultural monolith?
Patrick: Jocelyn's actually directing for the community theatre, so.
Moira: Jocelyn?
David: That's very ambitious of Jocelyn.
Patrick: Yeah, well, I just thought it could be a fun thing to do.
Moira: Yes, the exact sentiment expressed by the passengers as they stepped aboard the Titanic.
David: Okay, well, that's really encouraging.
Moira: What?! They were having a rip-roaring bash before that bloody iceberg.
Quote from Roland
David: Roland. You brought a baby into the store.
Roland: Shhh. Yeah. And I don't know why I haven't brought him in sooner, this place is perfect.
David: Thank you so much.
Roland: Yeah, they say that babies fall asleep quickest when they're surrounded by an eerie, almost crypt-like silence.
David: What can I do to shorten your stay in my store, Roland?
Roland: Oh, uh, Joce wanted me to pick up uh, some of this. This organic applesauce. Organic. Listen to me! Who am I? Gwyneth Paltrow?
Quote from Moira
Jocelyn: Moira since you have the strong personal connection to "Cabaret", do you think that you could help me?
Moira: No, this is your bébé, Jocelyn, and an artistic cradle robber, I am not.
Jocelyn: Okay, it's just that I have this actual baby at home, plus a whole lot of term papers to grade.
Moira: I wouldn't want to step on anyone's toes. But if you would indulge me a promenade along memory lane, I'd love to sit in on the auditions.
Jocelyn: Okay, if that's as much as you're willing to contribute. All righty.
Moira: It's settled, then. Consider me a silent monarch on the wall.