Johnny Quote #156
Quote from Johnny in Stop Saying Lice!
Male Guest: What are you doing in here?
Johnny: Well, you said to change the sheets.
Female Guest: No, we said not to change the sheets.
Johnny: Oh, you said not to change the sheets? I could've sworn I heard you say change the sheets. Well, while I'm here, I may as well...
Male Guest: Please, just leave the bed.
Johnny: Sure.
Male Guest: What's going on?
Johnny: What's going on? Well, my okay. My daughter and I were setting up the room earlier, and it turns out she has lice. I was changing the sheets because you know, I didn't wanna take a chance.
Male Guest: Been there.
Female Guest: Yeah, our six year old daughter had lice last year. How old's yours?
Johnny: 28. Oh, and I checked your hairbrush and it is fine.
Female Guest: You checked my hairbrush?!
Johnny: It's a complimentary service.
Schitt's Creek Quotes
‘Stop Saying Lice!’ Quotes
Quote from Moira
Johnny: Well, I thought it was a nice gesture.
Moira: Oh no, no. Now I just wonder what else you're keeping from me.
Johnny: Nothing! Well, Alexis has lice.
Moira: What?! Ew! Ewww! I assume you shaved her head! And we have to put a wig on her. But not one of my wigs! These have to be boxed now!
Johnny: Moira, I've got it all taken care of. And I'd think twice about that garden.
Moira: Oh, it's too late, the notion of that garden is as abhorrent to me as our daughter's scalp!
Johnny: And I was worried about you overreacting.
Moira: [screams]
Quote from David
David: Um, am I reading this right?
Alexis: "The Moira's Rose's Garden."
Johnny: Okay, look, I went back and forth on the name a couple of times, and I may have confused the engraver.
David: The Moira's Rose's Garden. So the garden is dedicated to a rose that Moira owns?
Alexis: I don't think that there are enough apostrophes.
Quote from Johnny
David: I don't even see a rose in the garden.
Moira: Because there aren't any roses.
Alexis: Or are we the Roses?
Johnny: Okay, I'm getting roses for the garden. I'm- I'm getting roses.
David: Oh, okay. And what are these numbers for?
Alexis: That's mom's birthday, David.
Moira: Those are the last four digits of your father's credit card.
Johnny: It was a complicated order form, all right? There were a lot of fields to fill in.
David: Um, I hope you got a really good deal on this.
Moira: It's by the letter, so he paid extra for those apostrophe "s's."