Alexis Quote #405
Quote from Alexis in The Job Interview
Twyla: Hey, Alexis. Another green smoothie, no greens?
Alexis: Um... yeah, if you're making one.
Twyla: No. I'm asking if you want one.
Alexis: [sighs] Okay, Twy, I didn't like leave anything behind when I popped by earlier, did I?
Twyla: I don't think so, but if you tell me what you lost, I can ask George if anyone turned it in?
Alexis: No, it's, it's nothing. It's just a turtle.
Twyla: What?
Alexis: His name is Ted and he's gone. And I can't remember where I put him, and I thought it was in the motel, but he could've like crawled out of my purse when I brought him by the cafe earlier.
Twyla: Okay. Turtles are actually kind of like huge health hazards, so when did you last see him?
Alexis: 'Kay, it's been weeks. But between the patchy Wi-Fi and like the ten-day nature trips, and me being alone here, kind of feels like he left the day that he flew to the Galapagos.
Twyla: The turtle flew to the Galapagos?
Alexis: No, Ted the turtle is missing, I am now talking about my boyfriend Ted, Twy. It'd be great if you could keep up.
Twyla: Right. Sorry.
Alexis: The slowest animal on earth escaped from me. That can't not be a bad sign.
Schitt's Creek Quotes
‘The Job Interview’ Quotes
Quote from Moira
Moira: Alexis! Your father and I are going to meet for a celebratory lunch when he's done at the bank, and... I was supposed to invite you to join us.
Alexis: Yeah, I'm a little busy.
Moira: What in God's name do you have there? Please tell me it's not a Testudine.
Alexis: No, it's a turtle.
Moira: Alexis! Turtles do not pets make. The poor things are riddled with a myriad of diseases. You may as well tie a leash around a raw chicken cutlet.
Quote from Twyla
Twyla: My mom had a turtle dove that was eaten by her ex-fiancé's snake. That was a bad sign.
Alexis: Oh my God.
Twyla: And it happened on Valentine's Day.
Alexis: Mm.
Twyla: And her fiancé was a Satanist.
Quote from Ted
Alexis: Well, I guess if this is what you look like after finding some gross fly, I can forgive you for being away for so long.
Ted: [on Skype] I've actually been bench pressing 100-pound tortoises because there's no gym here.
Alexis: Ted! Stop making me jealous of turtles.
Ted: Tortoises, but I do have "tur-tell" you that I've been thinking about you, a lot, especially at nighttime.