David: I realize that was a big mistake. I- I should've talked to you. I could be just your business partner tonight. If that will help.
Patrick: No, David. I, I can't have you do that. I owe it to us to tell them. I want them to know. Yeah, maybe this whole thing is a blessing in disguise, huh? It's at the cafe?
David: Yeah. The salmonella was a decoy.

Patrick: I don't know, David.
David: Okay, just tell me what to do, and I'll set it all up!
Patrick: Okay, fine. Um, in the red bag there's a blanket, you can take that out and lay it down.
David: Okay. This is nice.
Patrick: Uh, in the second bag, there is a bundle of crackers and cheese.
David: Uh excuse moi!
Patrick: And champagne. Hmm! And uh, just one more thing. Um, if you go into that front pocket there, there's actually something.

Patrick: David, just get in the shower, I will deal with this. Just let-let me do that for you. And I gotta probably get these sheets in the wash sooner than later.
David: I will take a shower, but we must never see each other again.
Patrick: Okay, that sounds like a fair deal. David, I'm gonna need the bedspread too, so... Just... Okay. [door slams] I love you.
David: [o.s.] I'm glad one of us does!

Patrick: Shh! Listen, okay? Come here, come here. I got a secret.
David: I don't...
Patrick: Come on.
David: Mm...
Patrick: [whispering] David? I'm very hungry.
David: Okay, there's nothing I can do about that.
Patrick: Wait. Just lie down with me.
David: Okay.
Patrick: I wanna, I wanna hold you.
David: Mm-hmm.
Patrick: [sighs] Imagine us right now, but just with a little baby.

Patrick: Are you happy now, David? Is this what you wanted?
David: You look...
Patrick: I look like a cheese puff.
David: Okay, you said it, not me. Um what, uh, what ha, what happened? Did they use the Allez Vous bronzer on you?
Patrick: I don't know, David, they asked me what I wanted, I told them just to give me what you usually get.
David: Well, why would you do that? I'm practically Sicilian, you don't need that much sun.
Patrick: I don't know how it works, David.

David: Okay, last week, I let you pick the movie we watched.
Patrick: You made me pick between two Sandra Bullock vehicles.
David: And you picked "The Lake House", which was the correct choice.
Patrick: Just so that you know, making someone choose between two things that you like, is not exactly a compromise.

Patrick: Hey, I wonder what would've happened if we had met in high school.
David: Hmm. Well, unless you were into candy ravers with asymmetrical haircuts and a lot of pacifier necklaces, I think our paths crossed at the right time. [David and Patrick kiss] How jealous, though?
Patrick: Why don't you take out the garbage?
David: How jealous were you?
Patrick: Nope!
David: Scale of one to ten. Like, enraged, or-
Patrick: Bye, bye.

Patrick: Wait. So when you say you put an offer in...
David: Yes.
Patrick: What exactly did you do?
David: Um, I don't really know. You might wanna call them. Call the people.
Patrick: Yeah, no. I'm definitely gonna look at that offer.
David: Mm-hmm.
Patrick: You know, at this point who even needs a wedding, am I right?
David: Oh, I do. I need a wedding. Big time.