Moira: Nice to meet you, Jacob. If you take half as much care of our son as you do your physique,
David: Okay!
Moira: David should be in very good hands.
Johnny: Yes, well, not-not your hands...
David: Mmm-hmm, yep. Bye!
Johnny: But, uhm generally speaking...

Bob: Well, Cal's doing big business, and since you two are sharing an office, uh, I thought you might wanna get in on some of it.
Johnny: Sharing an office? You've rented out my office space?!
Bob: Well, Johnny, you weren't exactly paying rent, and Cal's business is booming.
Cal: I should add that registration is totally free, there's no charge whatsoever for registration, there's just a small monetary-
Johnny: And what business is this?
Bob: Antivirus. The guy's amazing.
Cal: Okay, you'll be receiving your CD-ROM in the mail within the next two weeks, and you'll know the software is working if you don't see any changes.
Johnny: Bob, this sounds like a scam.
Bob: Far from it. No, my-my computer was riddled with viruses. I mean, Cal, uh, he fixed it, over the phone! [laughs] He didn't even look at my computer! That's how good he is.

Johnny: Bob, I've got a meeting with a client in an hour, and I cannot be conducting business with somebody yammering into the phone beside me!
Bob: Johnny, you're putting me in a bit of a pickle here. You know, obviously I'd like to keep you both. But there's, uh, a cardboard box over there, you know, if you do feel like you wanna you know, pack up your things.

Stevie: What the flying fuck is going on here?!
David: I was gonna ask you the same thing!
Stevie: What was that?!
David: Uh, what was that?!
Stevie: We're seeing each other!
David: Okay, we're seeing each other. He literally came here from my room.
Stevie: Well, he dropped me off at work this morning.
David: He what?!
Stevie: He dropped me off at work this morning!
David: Okay, I get it! Um, he did not mention that to me. And frankly, I don't know whether I want your sloppy seconds!
Stevie: Uh, first of all, who says they're sloppy, and second, who's to say we're not getting his sloppy thirds?! Who knows how many people he's got on the go at this point?
David: Okay, well all I know is that someone is sloppy and it's not me!

Johnny: Well, first, I wanna say thank you, Amy, for taking the time to see me today.
Amy Grace: It's actually Amy Grace.
Johnny: Amy Grace, well, apologies. It's funny, 'cause I remember when our families used to vacation together, you were just "Little Amy."
Amy Grace: I've always been Amy Grace.
Johnny: Ah well then, just call me Johnny Michael.

Daycare Worker: So is that a yes or a no, I...
Moira: It's an absolutely.
Daycare Worker: Absolutely what?
Moira: Absolutely crucial. Absolutely crucial! Crucial that we approach- That that we entertain every- Approach. I don't-
Roland: Ahem! We'll think about it.

Alexis: Yeah, Mutt asked me to just pop by, and keep an eye on the place while you are gone.
Tennessee: Okay. This is just the first I'm hearing about it, which is fine. If I had known you were staying at our place, I would've cleaned the sheets for you guys.
Ted: Oh, no, we're not together.
Alexis: You literally could not have said that any faster.

Twyla: All right, ready to order?
Johnny: Yeah, toast dry toast, and more coffee, please.
Alexis: And I know it's early, but I'm kind of feeling like, a big piece of fish.
David: Mm! Um and I'll have a bowl of room temperature hollandaise sauce, please.
Johnny: Oh, that's funny, very funny.
Moira: Don't listen to them, John. Don't listen and pick a point on the wall if you need to.

Moira: Well, hello, everyone! What time is curtain?
Ronnie: We'll probably start in a few minutes. Well, it looks like a full house out there.
Moira: Huh! So uh is this what everyone's wearing?
Roland: Well, I might lose the jacket.
Moira: If we look to have given up on ourselves, how can we assure our constituents that we haven't given up on them as well?
Ronnie: So we look like we've given up on ourselves?
Moira: Could we remember please that these are real people, with real problems, people! And while I can't pretend to fully understand them, I can at least attempt to care! Places, please!

Alexis: Well, I hope it was worth it.
David: Okay, I think you can take a step outside. You can step outside while this is happening. Let him change. You're like a predator!