Moira: I mean, would it kill someone to plant a few peonies?!
Johnny: I have a feeling if you want peonies, Moira, you're gonna have to plant them yourself.
Moira: [chuckles sarcastically, cackles wildly] These are dark times, John, but not that dark.

Moira: Look at the state of this place, it's like we're in a Mumbai-an slum. A year ago we had a staff of twenty-five working the grounds of our home, and now we walk by a mattress on the side of the road, without thinking twice about it.
Johnny: Well, the good news is that mattress is covering up the cracked toilet seat.

Moira: I have taken a moment out of my busy schedule, because this poor town is sliding into disarray. There is a filthy mattress just lying on the side of the road a few blocks from here.
Ray: Oh no, that's Dick Sinson's mattress, he's giving it away.
Moira: Ray, I have always seen you as a sensitive, cultured, man of the world. You have that striking accent.
Ray: Thank you.
Moira: And I'm sure your family wanted more for you when they immigrated from...
Ray: Winnipeg.
Moira: Winnipeg.

Mutt: Wake up sleepy head, nap time's over.
Alexis: [screams] Honestly, honestly, I have no money, and an empty purse from two seasons ago!

Moira: No need, I'm prepared to speak now.
Bob: Well, that just doesn't work, I mean, we have a list, uh...
Roland: Bob, just concentrate on the minutes, okay? I can tell right now you're behind.
Bob: Okay, typing is not my strong suit. Ray could type without looking at the keys.

Johnny: What's this? Looks expensive.
David: Oh, this is some new bedding.
Johnny: David, didn't I just tell you to save your money?
David: Uh, yeah. I am testing this out for the store, so work is paying for it.
Johnny: Work is paying for your bedding?
Stevie: I was gonna leave, but now I don't want to.

Johnny: What skin care products? You purchased skin care products?!
David: Okay, okay. I am the face of the company. If I have acne, what does that say about the legitimacy of the store?
Johnny: That's not a write off! That's not a write off! This?! Not a write off!
David: Oh, well, the bedding's non refundable, so.
Johnny: David, a write off is a business expense used to reduce your taxable income!
David: Okay, well then why isn't it called a "tax write off?"
Johnny: It is! It is! You can't just buy things for yourself, and write them off!
David: Well then, I'll return some things. There's not enough space in here for the massage chair, anyway.

Moira: I am here to address an issue that I believe pertains to all of us, self-respect. [Ronnie snickers]
Roland: I don't think we can help you in that department.
Moira: I'm speaking about what we have allowed to happen to this town. Everyone leaving their old things here and there, like some city-wide garage sale! I deserve better! We deserve better. A baby born in a prison cell does not know that a toilet should not be in the same room as its bed, but we do.
Ronnie: I didn't know you'd been in prison.
Moira: What? No, I'm illustrating a point. Okay, picture all of you living in a cave, having never seen the outside world. And then I show up. [off Bob's confusion] No, this is not what I'm trying to say.
Ronnie: What are you trying to say?
Moira: That we should strive for something that sets us apart from the prison baby. Greenery! We need greenery! Flowers, Boxwood trees! Two sets each for the cafe, and the motel. And then a citywide clean up, and I will not take no for an answer.

David: Um what happened?
Alexis: I don't know, like, we were talking, and then we just Like, didn't talk for a long time.
David: Okay. And that's it?
Alexis: No, and then we talked about why we weren't talking. And then we both agreed that even though the sex was amazing-
David: Mmm-hmm.
Alexis: Like, amazing! There was this time in the barn where I climbed up onto this rafter-
David: But yeah, no, I think- I think we're good.

Alexis: Yeah, anyway, we both agreed that we'd just been lusting after each other for such a long time that that's what we were holding onto, and not what was right in front of us.
David: Which was what?
Alexis: What?
David: What was right in front of you?
Alexis: When? [David shakes his head] Okay. Okay. So anyway, it's done. And it's just really weird, because I've never felt anything after a break up.
David: Mmm-hmm.
Alexis: Like, nothing. Like, I've been to doctors about it.