‘Moira Rosé’
Season 6, Episode 7 - Aired February 18, 2020
Moira and David spend the day sampling Herb Ertlinger's fruit wines to develop a product bearing her name. Alexis takes Stevie, Jocelyn, Twlya and Ronnie to a fitness class that she's promoting. Meanwhile, Johnny wants to have a talk with Patrick.
Quote from Jocelyn
Twyla: I didn't know they'd make us change out of our own workout clothes.
Jocelyn: Yeah, I kinda wish I knew that before I spent all that money on my LuLu Limes.
Quote from David
Moira: [gasps] What do we have here? I seem to have stumbled into some sort of gentlemen's cavern.
Patrick: Hey, thanks for letting me stay here tonight, Mrs. Rose, When David told me he wanted to install a Japanese toilet at my place, he neglected to mention that it would involve taking out a wall.
David: It was in the email. Also, you will be thanking me when you experience the heated, motion-sensor toilet seat.
Quote from David
David: Why did he hit the ball like that?
Patrick: So that is called a bunt. It's uh, it's tactical. It allows the guy on first to get over to second.
David: Okay. Who came up with the word "bunt"? Sounds like something you'd need to see a surgeon for.
Patrick: David, this is an important game. You told me you could get into this.
David: I was referring to the pizza. But, also, the game.
Quote from David
Moira: Yes, but he wants me to sample the fruits of his labor this very day!
David: Well, this seems like a very important moment in your life. I only wish I could be there.
Moira: I can't go alone.
David: [sighs] Well, unfortunately, I told my fiancé I'd watch the game with him...
Patrick: Just go, David.
David: Okay. Are you sure?
Patrick: Yes. You guys might wanna rehearse a little more next time. The extraction did feel a bit strained.
David: [quietly to Moira] That was you.
Quote from Moira
David: Okay, so how did this happen? I'm shocked he'd give you a second chance after that train wreck of a commercial.
Moira: Mark my words, David, Herb...
David: Ertlinger.
Moira: Mm-hmm. Won't be the last we see to clamber out of the woodwork now that I have a hit film on my hands. Spines tend to liquidate in the presence of success.
Quote from Moira
Moira: Speaking of. Herb!
David: [quietly] ERT-linger. ERT. LINGER.
Moira: Herb Ertlinger.
Herb Ertlinger: Nailed it first try. [laughs] Hey, bygones be bygones about the TV spot. At least the print ad worked out. Pretty hard to mess up one of those!
David: Clearly you haven't seen the heartburn ads she shot with Anne Geddes.
Quote from Moira
Herb Ertlinger: My wife and I got a real kick out of that Crows movie. So we would love to make our Moira Rosé an exclusive and limited release. This is what we're thinking for the label.
Moira: [gasps] Well, hello! Who is she and how do we get a mouthful of her?!
Quote from Moira
Herb Ertlinger: Now, it's important that you believe in the product you're selling, so we have a few options: there's the strawberry-peach, the ground fruits blend, and... a lovely banana rosé. Huh?
David: Mmm.
Moira: Rich in potassium.
Quote from Moira
Herb Ertlinger: So, uh, sample at your leisure. I'll come back with some coffee grounds and a cheese board. Again, we are so thrilled to have you here, Moira. Enjoy.
David: Thank you so much.
Moira: Poor thing. Okay. Here is to being able to share the perks of the industry with you. Salut. [glasses clink]
David: Cheers.
Moira: Oh, I had my reservations about banana.
David: Um, that's strawberry-peach.
Moira: Oh dear, it tastes like Amoxicillin.
Quote from David
David: This one's burning my throat. These are terrible!
Moira: Well, we have to pick one, David.
David: Do we? You really want people associating your name with this... laundry detergent? I would never sell this at my store.